Category Archives: Coaching

To our AAPI teammates

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As our season ends, I want to acknowledge the difficult emotions that members from Asian and Pacific Islander backgrounds were already experiencing, now exacerbated by the tragic shootings last Tuesday in Georgia. I also want to apologize for historically not posting a similar stance for our BIPOC players and families in the midst of equally atrocious violence throughout this past year.

Ferndale Volleyball stands on it’s core standards of Trust, Effort, Attitude and Mental Toughness – TEAM 1st….which includes creating an environment that is safe and inclusive of ALL players, regardless of any demographic factors, so they can reach their full potential both on and off the court. I am proud that we are one of the most diverse programs in Whatcom County and our coaching staff is committed to denouncing and quickly responding to any form of hatred, discrimination or bullying within our program. To our AAPI players and families – we see you and love you as part of our collective Ferndale team forever.

Thank you to the players that I have witnessed being brave and posting anti-racism campaigns on their social medias for their peers to see. We are proud of you for taking a stand and leading by example. You will help change this world into a better place for all future volleyballers….

United in our love for the game and hatred of boards,
your Ferndale Volleyball coaching staff

On our Covid season

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Elite athletes and programs rise when faced with adversity.

We had to rely on our culture this season since time to build was short – one that has always promoted growth, mental toughness, playing together, high expectations and support. So proud of my coaching staff, players and parents for the success we found on the court (9-4) and in our hearts this short but sweet season.

We added two (amazing) coaches to our staff this season and their reflections and feedback on the program and gym “vibe” during practices and games really reinforced the hard work we’ve been putting in the past 14 season to build this foundation for success on the court and off.

I am so very grateful for the role of coach….for a program full of families and players that love this sport….and for a husband and kiddos that completely sacrifice our normal family life for these weeks out of the year for me to focus on what I love.

Hindsight is 2020

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  1. The day that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were announced the winners of the 2020 election – although so many things happened in my family this year that kinda defined the year, the hope and relief that moment held was hugely impactful for me.
  2. Relying on exercise, movement, and meditation to keep me mentally and emotionally strong for my family.

3. Drinking a glass of wine/beer each night – figured out this severely impacted my sleep and my mood the next day.

4. My creative problem solving and reliance on my knowledge of trauma even when faced with “authorities” who claim to know more/differently.

5. Public speaking (writing?) about trauma, education, healing, etc.

6. That systems are broken, are subjective, and human error (even with the best of intentions) in a matter of seconds can change history….especially in the case of CPS, police investigations, racism, discipline in schools, equity in education. I already knew this on a theoretical level, but our involvement with these systems this year really brought me new perspective and lowered my overall trust in many things.

7. Our attachment therapist – hands down. Literally an angel placed in our lives 4 years ago (okay not placed, I actually stalked her in order to get her in my family’s life) and I don’t know how I would have gotten through this year without her. And my former stepmother, who stepped up to take WonderGIRL for 3 months during the hardest season of this year. I do not know what we would have done without her stepping up (and whether or not WG would still be here if she didn’t).

8. I am thankful for these silver linings (this could probably be its own post):
– trauma-informed classrooms and increased focus on social emotional health in schools
– zoom learning for WG and WB (with their attention and focus issues, this has actually benefited their learning big time)
– attachment and trust that has come after WonderGIRL’s spinal fusion surgery in September
– Scott’s openness to different modes of healing/therapy
– more people open to natural solutions for mental and physical health
– date nights outside under cozy tents
– learning that I am more of a homebody than I thought and the slower pace of life without over scheduling is key to our collective wellness
– soft clothes, pajamas, jumpers please and thank you
– so much board game time with our kiddos this year (Dutch Blitz, Phase 10, and Sequence)
– extra time for camping and road trips
– no Fall volleyball season means I got to celebrate my birthday in Vegas with my girlies!

9. Dear self (full of optimism and vision and hope),
Hold on for dear life. You know what you’re doing. They need you. You will get to the other side. It’s okay not to be okay.
Love,
Me (full of more accurate vision of reality and still a little hope left)

10. Wildest dreams for 2021: More time for this……

Just kidding (kind of). Still marinating on what next year could look like….stay tuned!

On tidying up

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Along with everyone else this new year, I got hooked on the new Netflix show, Tidying up with Marie Kondo. I had read the book a few years back but seeing it in action was perfect for me as a visual learner. Loved the inspiring tips she shared and how peaceful the homes she was transforming seemed to be after the big tidy.

My room and closet had exploded over the holiday season so last weekend was a perfect time to load all the clothes from all the closets into my bed and get to work. I purge my clothes often so I was surprised that I still had so much in my stash that I was unsure on….doesn’t spark joy?!?! Thank you and into the giveaway bag it went.

PS the verbal “thank you” to my clothes felt silly but was quite meaningful and therapeutic. I think clothes and material things can teach us lessons and serve a purpose and expressing gratitude for them or for yourself for purchasing was kind of cool in a way….Kondo states that this process helps counteract some shame that can come from having so many clothes or items that we don’t use and I think that’s a great way to keep the tidying process going with minimal negative emotions around it.

The reveal:Sooooo many Ferndale volleyball shirts….instead of consigning those my players will get to battle it out on the court for some free “retro” gear for their closets come this spring and summer. Scott’s mild OCD loved the new folding and drawer process. Now to see how long it lasts….

I saw many of you jumping in to the same thing last weekend!!! What did you tidy and how did it go????

Thanks and giving 2018

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For the past 60 days or so I’ve been starting each morning by writing 10 things I’m grateful for and it has really shifted my lens and perspective throughout my busy days. A few things that popped up more than a few times in those lists:

My team – and not all the wins but their personalities and time together was a blessing every day. Especially during our last week after practices, I had to tell them to go home and stop trying to hang out in the gym longer…..
Love these little cuties and their constant following me around the house hoping to get fed. Rex and Sav have become best buds…..
My family and the love and support they give to me (especially during volleyball season – at least now as a coach they are watching me get way more wins than my time as an athlete).
Oils…..duh!!! But really, having these in our lives to address both emotional and physical struggles for all members of our family is a DAILY blessing that sometimes I take for granted. And then when I get all excited about them again, I can’t shut up about them and make all my friends and family join me…..you’re welcome (and sorry all at the same time).
The success of the Cougars this Fall has been exciting to watch and experience (both football and volleyball in case you weren’t aware)…..AND for the record, a lot of people have said to me this season “It’s a good time to be a Coug fan” to which I reply….”It’s always a good time to be a Coug fan.” I love that others are noticing the love of WSU, but one thing I know for sure is that our “fan-ship” includes the same amount of love no matter if we’re 8-1 or 1-8 and I love that it’s been showcased nationally this season.This man….the rock and single father during volleyball season of our family. I love that we both support each others’ passions and have been super intentional this season about sticking together and getting through a relatively hard season with our kiddos.
I am always grateful for my three Wonders but am particularly grateful for all of their hard work in counseling and personal development. Especially my teenagers in a constant quest for more freedom and privileges, they are working hard to earn trust in becoming young adults.
Naps…always thankful for naps. I’ve already taken 3 this week and it’s not even the weekend yet.

On our #unicornszn

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Excerpt from my Ferndale volleyball Facebook page:

The story behind this whole “unicorn” business in Ferndale Volleyball 2018 history…..

Way back at the start of the season, I was interviewed by a local newspaper. As per usual, I was speaking in “elementary school counselor speak” about my magical and unique team calling them my unicorns. Then I quickly asked the reporter to not use that line in his actual article….I came back to the girls a bit embarrassed at my terms and told them this story. They laughed (at me) and we moved on…..

The next day, I got some excited texts from the players highlighting that the reporter not only used the phrase, but included it in the headline of the article, “Ferndale Volleyball enters Unicorn year”. ?‍♀️

We have since fully embraced this label of ? magic, glitter, and unique-ness ? because truly this team and the loving hearts that create it are something we need to honor and not take for granted. The amount of talent is there yes….but the amount of hard work, character and care for each other is a RARE find for a team as talented as this one. I teach the girls to take every day and moment and practice as an opportunity they will never get back to enjoy each other and improve in this safe environment…..and they have done that each step of the way.

So Tuesday night at our home district match, the theme is unicorns. And as the rainbows, horns, and glitter fill our home gymnasium, we hope you will feel part of this “something special” we have going and come along for the ride. #hornsup #unicornszn #ferndalevolleyball

On moving on…

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Fall is here and I am ready….mostly because I am pretty pumped September is outta here!!! We went through some stressful times in our fam last month so we are ALL ready to move onward and upward together!!!

We had one week in particular in September that was nothing short of a steaming hot mess. While walking hand in hand with each kiddo through that in their own ways, me and WG stopped to name all the bad stuff and then also all the good stuff we could think of. And admidst the mess, there was so much to be thankful for. I’d thought I would share a few of those bright spots here:

1. This manWe are bonded through battle….becoming a united front and navigating this parenting kids from hard places gig has stretched our relationship in ways we could have never done on our own. I am grateful to him everyday that he said yes and continues to say yes to the chaos showered over us daily.

2. This teamI am the luckiest coach to show up everyday and teach/guide these young women to be the best versions of themselves and team they can be. They are ridiculously funny, loving and hard working and it’s resulted in an undefeated season so far and a few more celebrations are sure to be on the horizon for this squad.

3. My new positionThis new “systems” level work in my district has been a whole new world for me as I’ve been so used to working directly with students day in and day out. I am starting to appreciate the process as much as the outcome (this is challenging for me to wait for as many of you know). It has been just what my mom heart needed to not have my compassion and patience stretched so thin at school that I couldn’t be the best mother I needed to be at home. I am very proud of the work our team has been working on and can’t wait to see the potential play out for our students, families and community!

I challenge you to start this new month with gratitude….and if anyone would like to join me in prayers for some of the lessons learned in September buying us at least one month of calm in October, Team Hoelzle-Brown would greatly appreciate it. ??????

August recap

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Wow. A whole month has gone by and I haven’t posted!!!! August was a fun month filled with last chance summer trips, together time and prepping for school/volleyball.

Here are a few shots to sum it all up:

While September is in full swing and our calendar is filled with all sorts of goodness, posts to come include a new adventure for WonderGIRL, some intentional steps in our marriage, and some thoughts on the hard job of growing up. Intention is my focus for September and that includes what I document here in this space…..hope you are having a great transition to Fall my friends!

On the Miracle Season…

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Obviously seeing this movie was a no-brainer for me. Actual competitive volleyball featured in a movie? And not just about catty girls that hate each other? Sign me up!!! I was sad to see it without my team (they’re going tomorrow as a team bonding event) but my kiddos obliged to tag along and check it out.Helen Hunt did an amazing job showing both the angst and the joys of coaching young female athletes. Pushing females to be competitive beasts while loving the heck out of them can be a hard job sometimes….and obviously so worth it. The tears flowed for me (and the whole theatre from the sound of all the sniffles) as a player died in the film….which brought back a flood of memories for me from walking/stumbling my team through some extremely tough days when a teammate and the most joyful young human to ever grace the earth, Chelsey Ray, died from cancer almost 10 years ago.
Even down to t-shirts that honored the player, our story had so many similar strands. These t-shirts were and still remain very special to me. I had Chelsey actually stamp her hands on the back of each one – a metaphor for her literally having our backs both on the court and off. Mine has only been washed 2 times to this day, because any piece of touching her amazingness is priceless to me.And just like in the movie, I think my greatest impact as a coach was helping the teammates through the tragedy with all the questions and all the pain….I loved talking with them, praying with them, honoring their friend and memories, and just covering them in love and grace. That’s what teams are for…..Having a young, shiny teenager ask you to speak at her own funeral was one of the most humbling events in my life to this date…..it was at the “chemo date” pictured above where that happened, I still vividly remember the giggles, inside jokes, and other nonsense she asked me to include. I’m so glad that I scrapbooked during this time to remember the small moments, the conversations, the haircut where I held her hand in front of our community, her joy and her faith…..all things that inspire me to lead young people, especially young athletes to their own greatness in life.

Many people don’t know this, but prior to receiving the head coaching gig at FHS, I had firm plans to move down to Vancouver, Washington to start my counseling career down there. Chelsey’s impact on my life and the love and family feel of my hometown during this time changed my mind and my course forever…..and for that and to her, I am so incredibly grateful.

December already?!?!

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I am in full December shock mode and also in full blog avoidance mode…..and a very loving friend of mine reminded me this weekend (Hi Lori!!!!) that people actually read my blog and I’ve left a few of them hanging on some life updates.

While I’m not sure I have the words for a life update, I will share a few nuggets of our silly little life as of late!Even though we own a house and have children and are fully adults, for some reason hosting Thanksgiving and being in charge of THE turkey felt like the next level of his whole adult gig. And it went fairly smoothly and people left extra bottles of wine behind so it was a raging success I’d say. 6th in state! These girls did awesome and my heart overflows with pride and love for them and their families. What a beautiful journey it was this year….Two things I am loving right now: my adorably feisty savage cat Rexie and the Clicklist option at Fred Meyer (aka the rare chance to sit in the parking lot eating my dollar tacos from Jack in the Box while sweet college students load up my trunk with groceries as my two kiddos interrogate them about their life and I get to focus on nothing but not spilling that red hot sauce in my new car). Also I should note the cat willingly got into this bag…..there was no grand suffocation hit out on the cat for this to happen – I swear. I got to sneak away for a fast and furious (“R-U-L-E”) trip to Vegas with a dear friend and I finally found my Ellen slot machine. It was fun. I lost all my money. It was still fun. This pic has gotten some attention on social media and I completely stole it (like word for word on the letter stole it) from someone so please steal it from me and let’s make these hard-working delivery people feel appreciated during their peak crazy season. Snack it forward guys!!!!