Tag Archives: personal development

On my mid-life “whatever you wanna call it”

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As I near the age of 40 (which means very little to me as far as ages go), I am noticing that this age DOES mean some things to people around me, especially women. And what I’m observing from both close and afar…..which makes me super excited, proud, inspired is that reaching higher ages and “mid-life” has prompted so many of my friends to “EVOLVE” or as I like to call it “up level.” They are realizing their potentials, they are healing themselves or accessing help to heal themselves, they are leaving toxic situation and they are pursuing their purposes. So instead of the old verbiage, “mid-life crisis”….I thought I would share a little about the collective “mid-life level up” I am witnessing around me and some resources you might be into as well.

Looking back on my life in creating my family within the last 10 years, my realization of purpose and prompts for healing needed to come earlier out of the need for sheer survival. Committing to a life of loving my husband and kids with complex-PTSD meant we all had to reflect on our own triggers, heal our reactions in small moments, and “do the work” (as I like to say) much earlier than might happen in typical family stories. This work included hours of therapy, handfuls of personal development reads and podcasts, tears and heartache, and hours of the holy grail of healing – meditation practices.

The books that keep “popping up” as inspiration in my journey:

Untamed should be required reading for all women. What Happened to You? should be required reading for all foster/adopt parents, educators and survivors of childhood trauma. Highly recommend BOTH!
These two reads are “the HEAVY and HARD work.” They are a bit more cerebral and will gut punch you at times with their prompts and concepts but if you can stay present and dig in, enlightenment is on the other side waiting for you.
I would recommend these books for “non-readers.” They are short stories and can be picked up, put down at any time. Great for coffee tables or travel. Small stories – big impact!

To all of my mid-lifers out there, I see you and honor you. Keep meditating and raising your self-awareness. Keep striving for your best self. And keep sharing your journey – you may never know the seeds of inspiration that grow in others’ hearts and be the missing puzzle piece for the evolution of another. Let’s level up together shall we?

P.S. And can I even do a blog post on personal growth without a Brene quote? I think not…..

”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.’’
– Brené Brown

On knowing better

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I’ve always loved the phrase KNOW better, DO better and it’s something I strive for in my personal development efforts. There have been a number of podcasts that have really opened my eyes (my ears???) to some new perspectives that I’d love to share with you if you’re looking for more personal development growth as well.

  1. The Goop podcast. I also highly recommend the mini-docu series they did on Netflix as well. Alternative healing messages, interesting viewpoints on parenting and connection and other non-traditional offerings of living, learning and loving. I never miss an episode and learn something new every time.

2. Nice White Parents. The tale of segregation in New York City public schools. From the creators of my all time favorite Podcast, Serial, this is well-done and entertaining to listen to. Be prepared to think about your own privilege and power when advocating for your children in education. There were times I was walking and listening to this and literally clapping, raising my hallelejuah hands and hearing someone articulate back to me my own frustrations with our current and BROKEN educational system.

3. Unlocking Us by Brene Brown. I’m sure you’ve already heard of this amazing author and shame researcher, but her podcast puts her knowledge (and amazingly soothing voice) into bite size nuggets to absorb the goodness. Loved this particular session with Austin Channing Brown.

4. I Mom So Hard podcast. Because I need a little balance on my walks….want to laugh and listen to two ladies that I want to be friends with? I have loved their youtube/their instagram lives/their live shows and now they have a podcast which is equally laugh out loud hilarious. Check it out!

What are you listening to right now? Any recommendations? Leave them below!

On my personal development READS

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Not all therapy happens in a therapist’s office…..I have relied on reading for personal development, self-awareness, and reflection during my morning routines for the past 2 years – all leading to what I hope turns into a better version of myself. It’s been amazing and I have learned sometimes a little and sometimes a lot from the books I’ve read. In case you’re wanting to read a bit more this 2020, I’m going to leave one line from what I remember/took away from each book here.

So much enlightenment in one STACK!!!

White Fragility – My own privilege and racism is here whether I like it or not.
The Path Made Clear – So many seasons of life and so many different reflections and guidance needed at each one.
Becoming – Inspired by her boss-ness, independence, and drive.
Blind Spot – Haven’t read it yet but always trying to fill in the blanks of what I might not know about myself and others.
No Fail Meetings – Stop having sucky meetings. The end.
Leadershift – New leadership requires serving, not dragging along behind you.
The 5 Second Rule – Stop waiting….5-4-3-2-1 do it.
Scoot Over and Make Some Room – Everything in my family will be figured out, including how many kiddos come in and out of our doors and hearts, no matter their needs.
The Body Keeps the Score – Trauma IS a diagnosis, IS NOT being treated the way it should be, AND explains so much of our mental health, education, and general system dysfunctions. *If you have been anywhere around me this year, I’m sure I’ve recommended this one….MUST READ trauma mamas and papas and educators and doctors and social workers and therapists, ETC.
The Moment of Lift – Get me around powerful and passionate women and let’s change the world together (inspired one of my 2020 goals to do this)!!
Quantum Wellness – Intentional eating, intentional everything having to do with my body – but it doesn’t take a grandiose plans…..multiple tiny steps creates massive impact.
What Happened to My Child – Opened my eyes and brain to PANS/PANDAS and cemented my love and inspiration I find constantly in my friend Heather, the author.

  • Still inspired by flipping through this!!!
  • Enneagram nerds unite!!!

What other inspirational reads do I need to add to my list?? Let me know in the comments!

On experience gifts…

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I’m not sure if I have written it here on the blog but I love gifting and also receiving experience gifts for holidays. My husband and I have always focused on doing things together for big events vs. giving gifts and this love and tradition we try to pass on to our kiddos as well.

This Christmas, I was super excited to gift my Mom and Grandma with a trip to the Sound of Music Sing-along experience at the 5th Avenue Theatre in Seattle. If you’ve never been, it’s a little like the Rocky Horror Picture Show experience but with less shocking outfits and no sexual innuendoes. People shouting at the plot lines (my favorite was when Captain VonTrapp told sweet Maria to turn around upon meeting her and an audience member yelled “# me too.” Perfect.) and an entire theatre singing along with every single song (usually I’m the weird one in the crowd knowing every single lyric….here? just normal). It was a wonderful day and a shared memory with three generations of us Weber women that I will cherish for years to come.

My sweet BraveGIRL turned 16 this January and I am continuously trying to pump the importance of personal development into both her and WonderGIRL as they grow and learn and form their identities in their teenage years. Bringing them to the Made for More documentary by Rachel Hollis (I promise I’ll stop referencing her in every post) was a great opportunity to start conversations around strong women, confidence, not being impacted by comparison to others, and other solid messages that I would love for them to adopt in their daily lives. We had a super fun dinner beforehand and they loved the movie, but my favorite moments was our discussion in the car afterward where they shared their take-aways an we got to have an open and honest discussion.

My favorite part for them to hear was how Rachel combats the old adage that “everything happens for a reason.” This common encouragement can really dismiss someone’s trauma and especially a young child who can’t even begin to think abstractly as to why something horrible has happened to them. Rachel encourages people instead to find a purpose or a meaning out of an experience. Not gonna lie – I got a little teary sitting in between these two 16 year olds, with a world and a life ahead of them, getting inspired to have a healthy view of their past and an actual encouraging way to move into their future. My two girls’ traumas definitely did not happen to them for any sort of positive reason but my biggest hope is that they can use the strength and resiliency they grew during these experiences to cruise through other smaller life stressors and maybe even use it to impact/inspire others who have gone through things similar.

I know many of you love gifting experience gifts too – what’s been your favorite to give????