Category Archives: School Counseling

On Contribution – A Year of Writing

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How do you feel like you contribute to the world through your vocation?
In my current vocational shift, I believe that I am disrupting a harmful institution that is public education by making efforts to educate and empower folks with children that have experienced trauma to build and create safe spaces for their learning and potential. In my mentorship with school counselors, I believe I am planting seeds of creativity and innovation in the field so that more students are impacted by proactive mental health strategies and social emotional learning that will impact their lives as adults in relationship with others. My greatest pride in the last 16 years of my career is watching school counselors that I have mentored or supervised have meaningful interactions with students, families and staff members knowing them being in that role is making a difference in that life.

A bunch of lovely counselors at our state conference last year!

How do you contribute to your family or friend group on a regular basis?
Particularly in response to contributing to my family, I hope that at the of their lives, they will know without a doubt that I loved them UNCONDITIONALLY. That their trauma and abuse was not their fault and that no amount of behavior will change the way I feel about them. HOWEVER, I also hope they learn that without healing, their past hurts will show up and damage other folks in their path. That without doing the extremely hard work of healing, they will be responsible for the outcomes of their hurt and abuse by lying, cheating, seeking control, etc. I heard a quote on Glennon Doyle’s podcast that said “it may not be your fault, but it still is your problem” and that really resonated with me as I work with folks that have experienced abuses and trauma far outside of their control. The other contribution I believe I am making to my children in particular is a simple one….I’m not going anywhere. I am sticking this out with you. I want to support you. When you hurt me, boundaries will need to be put into place, but I will continue to be there/support/love you.

Is there a meaningful giving experience you’d like to plan for in the future? Write about it.
One aspect of working with children that I never had sufficient time for as a school counselor was deeply working in supporting the parents. Walking alongside them in navigating for their students’ needs and affirming the hard and exhausting work they are doing while experiencing intensive vicarious trauma. That is something I want to move into with my new business venture….parenting groups, advocacy in school team meetings, personal parent coaching – I am so looking forward to just being in community with these parents and helping wherever I can in their journies. And bonus dream, I would LOVE to make enough money through alternative streams of income, that I can offer these services free of charge. We are nowhere near that goal as of now, but working slowly but surely in making it happen.

On Work – A Year of Writing

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What is your dream job?
If you were to ask me what my dream job was at any point between 2007-2023, I would have told you with 100% confidence that I had it. I was an elementary school counselor, a role I am utterly obsessed with (reference point, my tik tok page) and felt fulfilled as a varsity volleyball coach for an elite volleyball program in the hometown and school that raised me and made me who I am today. These were two jobs that I committed my heart and education to early on as a high schooler and did everything in my power to achieve those goals. Those careers were everything to me – I loved stepping into others’ lives during vulnerable moments, whether it was a crisis at school or coaching teenagers through the ups and downs of sports, life and love during their most formative years, I felt like I was contributing to individual lives and improving our community as a whole. I also felt incredibly valued by others – although criticism was there in small amounts, mostly I felt overwhelming gratitude and positivity coming from those I was DIRECTLY involved with (folks that indirectly heard things are a whole different story).

What are your work values? Think of values that bring you emotional fulfillment (being challenged, helping others, influence, etc.) as well as external things that you value (high earnings, job security, having adequate time away from work, etc.)
When I resigned from my school counseling position this last August, I made the decision by reflecting on both my personal and professional values and deciding whether or not my current place of employment would support those values. And at first, I thought maybe my personal and professional values would be different but the more I was curious and explored, the more I realized there were exactly the same. Connection and growth – to grow as a person and profession, we have to feel safe and supported. The only way to do that is through genuine connection and trust. Another important value to me is integrity, and as I define it, authenticity and “realness” – I want to hear your struggles AND your strengths and I want to make sure I am public about mine as well. My blog and my social media show the highlights and the hard parts and I am proud of that. My other values include compassion, empowerment, balance, unconditional love and VALUE (to be valued and to add value to others’ lives).

Do you feel like you need to work toward a change in your career or vocation? Why?
So now that I have been wiped bare in many senses of the word, I have the opportunity to build back my career and my path with these values in place and guiding the way. It is still quite foggy what that looks like and I am learning how to accept that is just what it is for the time being and it won’t feel that way forever. I know I love school counseling and school counselors and would love to keep supporting that work. I know I love working with humans with trauma, both the big and little humans and want to keep that passion area of mine alive in order to help move our collective understanding of it forward both in individual homes and in large systems as well. I feel right at now at this very moment, I am one of those mystery picture puzzles…..where you see just a few pieces at a time and you have to be patient in order to see the resulting final picture…..and for now, waiting for that will be both my daily struggle and my daily opportunity for acceptance and grace.

On School Counseling resources – back to school sale!

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I started a Teachers Pay Teachers store this past year and have been uploading different resources I’ve used over the past 15 years to maintain a comprehensive school counseling program. I am passionate about the power of data-driven decisions that support students and some of these tools help with the organization and advocacy for counseling programs!

In honor of the sale today and tomorrow, I thought I’d do a round up of the resources that are on sale and how they will help you stay organized this school year (and save a little bit of time along the way – these are all grab, edit and go type templates).

School Counseling Time Tracker
This resource is my most shared, most requested tool for tracking your activities as a school counselor. This comprehensive Excel notebook includes the graphs and charts you need to communicate with stakeholders already finished – when you add your student and family visit data, the graphs and charts automatically change with your data! I use this tool to determine whether or not my program is meeting my goals as well as a vital piece of advocating for my position. Click here to view and/or purchase.

Only $12 on sale – August 2nd and 3rd.

Voice and Choice Behavior Prompts Worksheet
I do a lot of trainings on kids with trauma and how to respond to their behavior in a calm and regulated way (the trickiest part). I compiled an easy “if this behavior, then say this” worksheet to give out during these trainings and it is available here. This is a great worksheet to get all caregivers on the same page in a household or an entire student’s team at school. Using constant language is key to improving student trauma responses.

I would HIGHLY recommend this for new school counselors and/or teachers…..helping coach teachers and parents in behavior management was one of my biggest learning curves when I first started and this resource would have been so helpful for me back in my newbie days.

$2.40 on sale!

Bullying Prevention – Family Resource Packet
Great resource to send home in the Fall of a school year to describe what your school does when a student reports bullying. It also includes bullying report forms (editable) and a school district policy that students and caregivers can sign after reviewing. At our school, we collect these and use them between our admin team to keep track of and better document bullying reports.

$4.00 on sale!

School Counseling Program Calendar
This is a great tool to align programs across the district and would help communicate the role of the school counselor.

$2.40 on sale

Reset Room Resources
I love the work and care that we have put into creating a reset room at my current school. It is a safe space where students can access both a regulated adult and a space with regulation tools when needed. Taking a break is such a vital coping strategy for students and staff alike – but setting up the procedures of the room can be tricky so these resources can help! If you’d like to see a video of how we use our reset room (taken last year in the midst of Covid restrictions), click here.

Reset Room Planning Template

Reset Room Rules Poster – FREE!

School Counseling Program BUNDLE
And because I like a deal, if you want my entire library of resources for only $25 – click here!

All 9 items in my store included for only $25!

Well if you made it this far, thanks for following along. I love collaborating with and training new school counselors and educators – sharing these resources to make their job just a teeny bit easier brings me great joy!!!

19/40 – on my first experience with CPS/foster care as a professional

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I was 2 months into my first job as an elementary school counselor, fresh out of grad school. I had reported to CPS just a handful of times during my high school internship the year prior, but because of the age and agency of students, there was rarely any follow up.

So when I reported my first official CPS report on my own as a professional school counselor, I was a bit jaded with what would happen next. Much to my surprise, an investigator came within an hour of my report, did an extremely in depth interview, and then the following day, called me to follow up and let me know the child would be being placed into foster care that very afternoon. And knowing it made the child feel safe, asked me to go along with her as she met her new foster care placement. Although I want to spare the details of the abuse and the child, this experience was transformative in my life.

Being part of this little girl’s journey filled with both grief and attachment to me as her counselor would later inspire a few different things important to my career and life:
– belief in the CPS system (although I later found this particular investigator was brand new, full of hope and that not all CPS workers think and act in the same comprehensive way as I detailed above)
– passion for uncovering abuse disclosures in elementary school children and teaching my staff how to look for signs of potential abuse
– a first hand look at the despair and grief that is a child being removed from their biological family, no matter the harm it was doing to them
– her attachment to me as a safe person because I had believed her/helped her was communicated in her body language the day we took her to to her first placement and that will always stick with me

And 14 years later, “keeping kids safe” is one of the most sacred and rewarding parts of my job (and my family life as well).

This experience also was one of many in my school counseling career that confirmed I wanted to be a parent so incredibly badly, but wanted to do that through foster and adoption. In the same scrapbook as above, I listed my bucket list items at the time. I’m about half way through my list which seems fitting at this mid-point of my life.

18/40 – on how I chose my career path

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I had a very privileged experience in my school journey and absolutely fell in love with school. The school supplies, the relationships with teachers, and yes even the actual learning excited me enough to want to work in that field for the rest of my life. However, there was a knowing inside of me that knew classroom teaching wasn’t the path….so I had to explore some other options. For my 18th “moment”, I thought I would highlight a few different moments where I knew what I wanted to pursue in my career.

With an interest in psychology and human behavior (although this wasn’t labeled for me until well into high school taking my first psych class – thank you Mr. Demorest), I began to explore options that combined school and psychology.

My senior year, I distinctly remember an experience where I was required to do a job shadow and I chose a school psychologist (literal combination of school and psychology – haha). And while I completely admire and value what school psychologists do….this experience showed me this was a career I was NOT interested in. That school psychologist (I wish I knew who it was) introduced me to school counseling and thought it might be more what I was looking for in the education field (working with a wide range of students, experiential learning, impact on emotions, preventing child abuse, etc.)….since I hadn’t had much experience with counselors up to that point, this was all new to me and I was excited to learn more. I’m not even sure if job shadows are still a thing…..but this particular experience was pivotal for me in deciding my future so I recommend seeking out these experiences prior to deciding on a college pathway personally.

In college at WSU (go cougs), I got the chance to work as an Orientation Counselor for their New Student Programs and FELL IN LOVE…..this experience of working with high school students, creating magical moments to increase their sense of belonging at the school and guiding their choices for academics, involvement, and more felt like home to me and I was excited to seek that out in my career. Our training was very extensive and included some principals of the Disney Way which has stuck with me throughout my professional and personal life.

And the rest is history really….I sought out experiences in my undergraduate career that would help prepare me for a graduate program in School Counseling, I applied to the best program around, and was the only student in my cohort straight out of undergrad. Two years later, I landed a leave replacement, then a permanent job and am currently obsessed with all things school counseling, 16 years later.

What I love most about being a school counselor:
1. No day is ever the same….I show up to work with a tentative plan and schedule, but then have to be flexible to the needs of students, staff, and families at any particular moment. This helps me feel a sense of urgency and value when I show up to work each morning.

2. I believe that school (especially elementary school) is a huge teacher of healthy RELATIONSHIPS….and reinforcing what a child already knows to be true about healthy caregiving OR rewriting harmful narratives about how caregivers act is very important to me.

3. I get to walk alongside teachers in teaching social emotional learning – all the other stuff besides content that creates healthy humans. Coping skills, responding to mistakes, getting along with others, etc are all skills that can be intentionally taught (and in my mind should be taught each and every day).

4. In my most recent years as a school counselor, I have really loved coaching parents as they navigate difficult situations like domestic violence, suicidal ideation, healing from trauma, adoption and attachment. This portion of the job used to intimidate me big time especially prior to becoming a parent, but I think the adults need as much support as youth in today’s world with so many pressures and threats to our mental health.

5. I get to PLAY every single day – when I come home from work, I can identify at least one (if not several) moments of joy from that day. Whether its me dominating at 4-square during recess or a laughable moment with a co-worker, my job really is full of fun. I also am an extremely extroverted human….so having relationships with so many folks, deepening those relationships, and being able to sing and dance with a microphone blasting music is a perfect combination for me! If schools are not a fun place to be, we are missing the mark and I appreciate my colleagues that feel the same!!!

I am so very grateful for all of the amazing staff and admin I have worked with as a school counselor that support me, my role and prioritize the importance of mental health work with students – unlike others in my field, I have never had an admin (Kevin, Cindy, Mischa, Joel if you’re reading this -thank you) that didn’t support school counseling and my crazy ideas 100% and that means so many students and families have been able to access supports desperately needed from the public school system.

On the systems that help AND harm….

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As a passionate educator, I came into my school counseling career with limited life experience but a lot of educational training on students and all the things that stand in the way of their academic success (personal background, learning disabilities, child abuse, opportunity gaps, etc.). And as my years of professional personal experience continue to climb, I am confronted with more and more systemic harms and systemic oppression that are much larger barriers for so many of my students, my own child navigating the “adult world”, and a lot of other humans I come into contact with that are a far heavier burden than any of those individual circumstances.

And sometimes when describing these barriers, it is hard for others to gain perspective on these hurts and barriers if never confronted with them personally. For example, I knew about the justice system inequities from reading this book and other news, but was not personally affected until on trial for my WonderGIRL’s trial against her abuser and then later part of a jury selection process that weeded me out for “knowing too much about childhood trauma’s impact on memory and the brain.” The anger that raged inside of me knowing that our jury didn’t believe my daughter because no one on that jury knew or could explain what happens to a brain that has been abused over time will never go away…..

I thought I would leave a few key readings or listening resources you might be interested in to gain some others’ perspectives as you move forward in our world that I need to hope will move in a forward direction toward “liberty and justice for all.”

My favorite post from the 4th of July – a holiday that had many conflicting feelings so so many people.

Educational trauma – I love my job as a school counselor and love the services and empowerment that public education provides to students and families. But the inequities are HUGE – I appreciate my colleagues and passionate leaders who also see these injustices and work on removing both collective and individual barriers to learning and growth for our most vulnerable little humans. There are a lot of books out there that can speak to marginalized groups and their experiences in school but here is one that I tore through with both curiosity and anger (I saw the author speak live at this conference and was hooked on her mission):

Religious trauma – I have always had some doubts on collective group religion although feel strongly about the power of having strong, individual faith journeys. Especially when it comes to the views and judgement passed onto to the LGTBQIA community, which in my opinion, is completely counterintuitive to the teachings of the bible. If you’re interested in learning more (since this is not my story to share but something I think needs to be shared), here are a few stories to listen to/watch in order to stretch your thinking on the topic.

We Can Do Hard Things podcast –

Mormon No More documentary on Hulu – featuring two lovely humans I have followed on Instagram for years now

I also fully acknowledge that these stories are ones that I personally sought out and received from folks that look like me, think like me and while I try to look at things from both sides, these are issues about human rights that cannot afford folks to remain neutral and sit on the fence about. I am looking forward to voting and getting involved with legislation in hopes we can move forward as a country….as well as continue to build safe spaces for little ones to find their voice, show compassion for others, and grow into leaders who will make our world a better place (insert all hope placed in future generations here). Thanks for reading and exploring with me.

On my school counseling must-haves

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Now that I’m pumping out videos on my Tik Tok account, I tend to get similar questions about resources, book study books, and other tools from my counseling office….and even though I keep answering them in the comments, I thought I’d compile my answers and links all in one blog post for folks to refer to here. Click on image to read more and purchase if interested.

Question: If you were to recommend reading one book about trauma-informed practices (for myself or a book study), what would it be?

Question: If you were to purchase one resource for your first year as a school counselor, what would it be?

Question: If you were to purchase one sensory tool for your office, what would it be?

Question: If you were moving to an admin or behavioral support position, what book would you recommend?

Question: If you were to have one board game in your office, what would it be?

Question: My ________ just became a teacher/school counselor and I want to get them something special. What should I get them?

I am trying to keep my amazon storefront lists current, so if you’re interested in more, feel free to check that out (and help me out along the way)!

What questions am I missing? What products/resources are you interested in?

On the job that I LOVE….and how I show it off

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It is no surprise to anyone that I love my job. I am obsessed with the role of a school counselor and in particular, the prevention and proactive efforts that an elementary school counselor can provide. I also could talk about it for hours upon hours and never get bored (and in fact try to do just at with conference and graduate program presentations when I can).

Unfortunately, part of school counseling (a large part) is done behind closed doors due to protection of confidentiality. So part of our job gets to be communicating what we do to our communities, colleagues and administrators.

Each year, I publish an annual report to showcase how many students were impacted by the school counseling program. Here is a snapshot of the first page so far this year.

I collect this data this throughout the school year by tracking all of my student and parent contacts into one Excel spreadsheet…..then it’s easy to pull information and visuals to share with staff. I have tweaked and edited this spreadsheet to fit my needs but so many folks have asked for a copy, I uploaded it on Teachers Pay Teachers for others to use for their own programs!

In my beginning years as a professional school counselor, I used this time tracking data to advocate for counseling support to grow to meet the needs of more students. I’ve also used it to show what activities produce academic and behavioral growth versus maintaining “feel good” check ins with students.

Although most see the need for school counseling and mental health support in our current state of affairs, when I first began my career in 2007, budgets were tight and school counselors were often on the chopping block of staff cuts. I was a bit relentless in letting stakeholders in my district know how important school counseling programs can be to impact student learning and growth!

Let me know if you have any questions on this resource! Or if you already use it, I would love to hear how it’s helped you and your program!

On another shooting

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I hate that I wrote a post in February of 2018 with my exact feelings as I have today. Another school shooting. This time, 14 elementary school students murdered along with their teacher. When will it end?

Click here to read post.

As an educator tasked with decision-making, safety plans, and risk assessments at school – each incident no matter how far away makes me numb with fear and doubt. My ruminating thoughts summed up in the video below….

On working with and loving kids with trauma

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Throughout my years as a school counselor and then as a mama to my Wonders, I have fallen into the lane of diving into, educating about, and training colleagues on how to work with kiddos who have experienced trauma. There has been so much current research and actual neuroscience that SHOULD change the way we do business with kids (and frankly, with adults as well). And since it hasn’t caught on as widespread as I would like, I try and do my part to influence who I can on the importance of this information.

With some new folks visiting my blog, I thought I would do some posts that will collate some of that information. Tik Tok episode 1: Whatever you are, be consistent (ie, “predictable”)!

Tik tok episode 2: Frontloading the change in schedule or anxiety trigger.
Tik Tok episode 3: Talk your thoughts.

And if you’re more of a book reader versus a Tik Tok watcher…here are my top 3 suggestions!

All books (and more) linked in my Amazon storefront! Stay tuned for more information regarding this topic….and if you’re here for cute pics of my kiddos and cats, then check back later!!