Tag Archives: anniversary

On our Whistler weekend

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Traveling to Canada has been tricky the past couple of years, but it’s not anymore and if you haven’t been to Whistler…it is such a fun destination in the summer! With so many restaurants and activities to choose from, I thought I would highlight a few in case you find your way up north and want some recommendations!

Where to stay – there are a LOT of hotels and rental options right in Whistler Village and I recommend choosing something in the village so you’re super close to the all of the action! 9 years ago, we stayed at the Aava hotel and loved that option as well. This time around, we went the AirB&B route and LOVED our condo. To save some money, these have full kitchens so shopping and cooking on your own would be great for a family getaway. Our host was amazing and responsive and the place was so cutely decorated and had everything we needed (with it raining so much, we did spend more time than I thought we would in the condo). Ours had a cute pool and hot tub as well which was perfect to come home to each night after a lot of walking (and eating/drinking).

Must-do activity – riding the gondola up Whistler or Blackcomb is a must must activity and is breathtakingly beautiful. It does cost a good chunk of money, but you can spend the whole day/night up there to get your money’s worth. Once you’re up top, there are many sites to see, trails to hike/explore and restaurants to eat at! On top of Whistler in particular, there is the Umbrella bar with a 360 degree view and a great buffet dinner on Friday-Sunday. Watching the mountain bikers head down is also part of the fun!

Where to eat – ummmm…..EVERYWHERE! Seriously there are so many amazing places to eat and since the weather wasn’t great, I’m pretty sure we hit more stops than we originally planned. Here were some of my favorites:

1. Purebread – Okay you know I love my carbs but being in line each morning at 8am when this place opens and the wave of aroma hits you was MAGICAL. There is everything here from sweet to savory and I recommend ordering your own sampler platter and try bits of what you want (and then snag a box of goodies for the ride home as well on your way out).

2. La Cantina Taco Bar – Just good tacos. And guac. And vibes.

3. Dubb Linn Gate Irish Pub – This was the one place we actually remembered from our previous trip 9 years ago and wanted to return. And it did not disappoint….delicious Irish comfort food (the shephard’s pie…..wow) and all the different beers and whiskeys you could imagine.

4. Cow’s Ice Cream – This came recommended to us and I hadn’t heard of it before but the line was always out the door and it was a great treat to snag and walk around the village with.

5. Raven’s Room – This bar was tucked inside a hotel and was hard to find but the drinks were amazing as well as the decor. We didn’t end up eating here but watched others’ food come out and it looked amazing!

Honorable mentions: Earl’s, Hunter Gather, Sachi Sushi (must order the shrimp gyoza made in house), Araxia (super pricey, not worth it IMO but good), Stonesedge (yummy eggs Benedict), The Green Mustache

Moments #22-26/40 – On five moments in our marriage

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Today, we celebrate 10 years of marriage and if you’ve been following along for any length of time, you know our marriage (like most) have had its share of roller coaster moments. I know that all marriages go through these – but with ours, some of those rockier moments came a bit earlier than to be expected due to a number of factors. Today I wanted to honor those 10 years with 5 moments that are memorable to me in big ways (but possibly are not the same magical moments you might expect one to document from a marriage).

Marriage moment #1 – your disclosure of your childhood abuse
Technically this was before our marriage – in fact, it was probably within the first month of us dating which was so very brave of you after repressing your story for 27+ years up to this point. You told me what you had bravely survived and then you told me that you fully expected me to stand up, walk out and never speak to you again after hearing the disclosure. (Spoiler alert: I didn’t.) How I did respond: “This doesn’t change the way I feel about you. The only thing I need is that when you need help to work through it, you will get it.” And you have held strong to that commitment in every sense of the word…..not only seeking out the help you need but breaking down barriers and stigma for others in your line of profession and allowing me to share pieces of your journey here on the blog.

Marriage moment #2 – the day you said yes
I told you that two students that had been removed from their home hadn’t returned to school and I was worried. I stalked the CPS worker and volunteered our home for the weekend as was only needed at the time. They needed an answer within the hour. I called you, explained the situation, and asked you to take two traumatized children you had never met into our home for a whirlwind weekend….you said said yes right away with the sweetest words, “whatever discomfort I might have in bringing them home does not compare with the fear they are feeling so yes let’s do it.” That weekend became months, those months became years, and the rest is history.

Marriage moment #3 – hitting rock bottom as a couple
I haven’t shared much regarding the incredibly hard 2 years we’ve had navigating WonderGIRL’s transition to adulthood….but it has taken an extreme toll on all 3 of us remaining Team Hoelzle Brown members along with a toll on our marriage. Last Fall, it all came to a head with a gnarly argument where my voice was silenced and bad choices were made as far as communication with WG. But out of that darkness came some self-awareness from you that things needed to change. That the suggestions I was making to you like looking for other forms of trauma healing were needed like EMDR or psychedelic interventions. And while we navigated our relationship in silence and separate bedrooms for a while, you took your healing into your own hands. Relied on your own support network outside of me to keep you accountable and get you to Ketamine appointments. Switched counselors, knowing you were at a stalemate with your current one. You did the work and you are a much better man, father and husband because of it.

Marriage moment #4 – figuring out our biggest conflict
In 2018 with both kiddos in school and activities along with our own pursuits, we realized that our biggest arguments came from scheduling and miscommunication about who/what/when in day to day life. At this point, we started having weekly scheduling meetings each Sunday night to go through our week and work things out ahead of time (Cozi, an online app, also helped with this). During this year, we also had a transformative discussion about our relationship values and I encourage other couples to do the same – it’s helped us prioritize some things like finances and schedules along with keeping us grounded together when distractions pull us away constantly. Read more about scheduling and our values in this blog post from 2018.

(HIS) Marriage moment #5 – learning I was right in 2021 *completely his words, not mine!
This one is funny from his perspective because when we first got married, other veteran married couples would often offer advice to us as the newbies. 9 out of 10 spouses (usually husbands) would say that the secret to a happy marriage is to always say/assume/act as if “she is always right.” And you HATED that sentiment. You claimed that we didn’t follow other marital/gender norms so why should we follow that one. And while we don’t really use this mantra in our daily functioning, I do appreciate that you are more open to listening to me and my opinions on how things should go in regards to parenting, our mental health journeys, etc. I also think there is a lot to be said for our good communication skills and me growing in my ability to listen to YOU and trust some of your choices and opinions as well.

Thank you for being you and growing alongside me as a spouse and parent all these years. Also, a big thank you for sitting in the ER with me for 6+ hours yesterday and ruining our actual anniversary due to my strep throat contagious period. In sickness and in health….

More to come on our anniversary trip to Whistler (where I probably caught said strep throat) because it was AMAZING and I want to share all the places we found in case you want to travel there too someday.

On 9 years

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Getting married in our late 20s meant we had some stuff to work out in our early relationship. Some past patterns and hurts that showed up early and threatened our relationship in big ways….I am so glad those hurts stretched us, made us vulnerable, and got us into therapy because it built two individual humans strong enough to endure what was to come.

The last two years have included some dark and hard tunnels. And I respect and love this man for blindly walking through them with me hand in hand….without knowing when the light will come.

5 years….

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Each year, each new experience and each new Wonder that you say yes to without logistics, reality or even perks cements my faith that you were put in my life for a plan far greater than mine.

Thank you for helping me fulfill my purpose professionally and personally as a mama, knowing when to cheer from behind or when to step in front and help me set some boundaries. We love spending our anniversaries growing and learning at the Global Leadership Summit – inspiration for our year ahead for our marriage, our careers and our souls. (Recap of my experience at the GLS up next on the blog)

4 years since this epic day….

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and my epic bouquet that still looks exactly like this picture. This was so fun to make (thank you Elke for being my partner in crafty crime on this one) and I love that I still get to hold it just as it was that year for many years to come.FPS029_MG_5091_processed A little bit of fun was had in our photobooth. A lot of fun has happened since our marriage 4 years ago…..adding two lovable little Wonders has been by far the most fun though!FPS108IMG_5495 My favorite seconds of this entire day was all of our loved ones making wishes on these balloons and sending them off into the universe to hopefully come true one day. For those of you that wished for children – hooray your balloon wish was granted. For those of you who wished for babies – sorry not sorry. No diapers and midnight feedings in this house. And for those of you that wished for Scott to stop playing his Marvel video game on his cell phone so much 4 years from this date (oh wait that’s just me)…..maybe we need a few more balloons.FPS514_MG_6692 As this was the happiest day of my life…..this picture below sums up how thrilled I was to have all of my beloved people all under one barn roof. Taryn, you clearly said something I absolutely adored right here. Not a surprise…..FPS547_MG_6796My marriage to Scott has gifted me so many things….a loyal partner who said yes when I needed him too. A cozy house to make memories in. An fire family that I love as if I shared blood with them. Feelings of safety and security that I have rarely felt before.

My marriage has also stretched me and I choose to view that as a gift as well. It has been unbelievably hard at times and in those times, we have learned how to communicate, how to take breaks, and how to unselfishly say sorry and make changes. Each day brings about new opportunities to practice those skills and I welcome them if it makes us stronger in the long run. I have learned to restructure my thinking about so many things to find peace and purpose in the good and the bad.

I will not sugar coat this whole adventure by saying it’s all been rosy…even before the added stress of our kiddos being in the mix, Scott and I struggled in our relationship. And now with our Wonders around us, those small rifts in our foundation get a bit bigger with each rumble they add. We continue to reach out for help and it’s carrying us through the lows. Our love and commitment carry us drag us through the conflicts and always lead to healing. The experience of living with broken beings who have endured trauma is definitely not easy and at times can feel incredibly suffocating, but with the grace of powers much bigger than I, I feel a purpose and a mission to love fiercely through all of it and lean towards the ultimate goal of peace and healing for all of us.

Thank you Scott for choosing me, loving our Wonders and me with a fierceness that can move mountains, and for working on yourself so you can be better for US. That work means more to me than all the letters, cards, and flowers you could ever give to me. I love you today and every day.