Tag Archives: one little word

On my 2025 word – EASE

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Hello blog world – I’m back! After hemming and hawing over what to do with this blog, I just couldn’t bring myself to cancel it. Many times this year, I have felt the tug to blog and return to this space. As many of you know, I am a verbal processor (aka open book, aka trauma dumper, aka be careful when you ask how I am) and love using the written word to make sense of the world around me. In the end (literally this month), my gut told me to keep it, pay to renew it and here we are. Because if I have learned one thing the past two years, is that my intuition/gut is a powerful witchy force and I need to listen to it.

So much has happened in the past two years and I know I have left you with sparse pieces of that puzzle but I am okay with that. The biggest puzzle that has been built meticulously is the act of healing and acceptance. I feel like I’m finally around the corner of that healing (I know I’ve sad that at previous chapters but now feel like it’s here to stay) and I’m also ready to keep sharing that journey with the world – in case someone else is going through it and selfishly, just to keep myself accountable and writing as a creative outlet.

Cats are a constant reminder of the importance of ease and rest.

Although I haven’t been publicly blogging, I have kept up my journaling practice and referenced back to January when I choose my One Little Word for the year. After an extremely hard 2024 where my heart, mind, and body were constantly exerting effort just to keep going, it was time to counterbalance that effort with EASE. I wanted to pursue ease, make sure I was intentionally scheduling rest, and keeping a promise to myself to listen to my body and give it what was easy to give at the time (this was often slowing down, rest, and stillness).

“Ease is not the absence of challenge, but the
presence of grace in the face of it.”

One of the aspects of healing I worked on this year was re-aligning with my intuition. After the betrayal trauma, I had some big realizations about ways I ignored my intuition in the past and some inherent anger I actually had toward it for “letting me down.” Part of pursuing EASE was to dive deep into that internal dialogue and sensation to determine what actually does feel easy, right, and energy-giving versus energy-draining.

In business, that meant I worked on automaticity and systems so that parts of it could run in the background as I prioritized rest and other pursuits.

In relationships, that meant that with the limited resources I have in this stage of life (time, money, energy), I only wanted to spend on people that felt “easy” to me. And honestly in retrospect, I chose the people that were honest, steadfast, and genuine – all things I desperately needed post betrayal trauma.

A delightful night out in Seattle with one of my bests.

In January of this year, I made a list of activities that made me feel EASE and they still hold true 12 months later:
– walking outside
– sunshine
– morning routine
– cuddling with WB
– intentional eating and meal prep
– shifts at the Landing
– being “cat-trapped” by Hallford
– heat (hot tub, hot water shower, sauna)
– decorating my new space
– taking the train vs. driving

So TL;DR, I found some ease this past year and lived to blog about it. More blogging (and a new word) coming in 2026….cheers!

One Little Word for 2024

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As many of you know, I love to focus on a word for the year versus resolutions and goals, etc. This seems particularly impactful for me this year as I am longing for and desperately searching for anchors to keep me grounded throughout this period of grief and disentanglement I am experiencing.

Last year, I chose BECOMING and because I chose it so late, I considered continuing it this year because it does capture this period of change, transformation, and growth (in a positive forward-looking kind of way that I need reminders to do).

But after sitting with this for the month of January, I decided to pair it down to just the word “BE.” What has happened in my life in the past 13 months has been stripping, pairing down, undoing many many parts of my life. I have always been a “doer”, a motivated, get all the things accomplished kind of person (enneagram 3 problems). But my body taking over to protect me and sit me down with a variety of gut punch life events has taught me to appreciate honor the space that I am in and not focus on everything I need to do to change it.

What “be” means to me:
– to let things be what they are and not focus on what they could have, would have, should have been
– to be in my body and feelings
– to be a human BEing, not a human DOing (love this quote)

– to be myself and share my story authentically with those around me
– to appreciate the roles I hold and continue to get better at them – I want to BE my most favorite version of a mother. A counselor. A disruptor. A mentor and coach. A friend, daughter, sister, romantic partner, etc.
– to be present (“wherever you are, BE there” is a mantra I repeat on a regular basis)
– to accept and appreciate days when my only job is just to be (and survive), not produce outcomes and check off to-do lists

If you’d like to read reflections on my other words, click the tag below this post to see them all summarized since 2016 (I started this blog 8 years ago!). And per usual, I’d love to read what your words are for this year….I always feel inspired and a spark of connection when I read yours and hope mine does the same for you.

On getting back to blogging

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If you are an avid reader of this blog, you know I aim to include and write about our life’s series of UPS and DOWNS. And life as a foster/adoptive parent, wife of a first responder, and public school educator has given me quite a bit of content to reflect on and attempt to make sense of along this journey.

The last 9 months has been the darkest period I have experienced to date…..with a few glimmers of magic here and there, many pieces of my identity and values I am proudest of were questioned and destroyed. Many times, I thought about coming here to process…..and every time I backed away due to fear of retaliation by those that would use it against me but also to protect a handful of people’s truths and traumas that wouldn’t be healthy to publicize.

Writing has always been a coping strategy and creative outlet for me….at one point in my childhood, my dream career was to become an author and started to write my very own chapter book when I was in the 5th grade (I so wish I could find this). And I just finished reading an amazing book titled Bittersweet by Susan Cain that referenced multiple studies that found that folks that wrote about their troubles, feelings, and trials were calmer, happier, had better health outcomes, and experienced more success with relationships and at work. The author of this book writes “expressive writing encourages us to see our misfortunes not as flaws that make us unfit for worldly success, but as the seeds of our growth.” This last line resonated with me and struck a chord as I realized I missed blogging and making sense of my own misfortunes….and highlighting some of the good stuff as well.

On January 3rd of this year (before my world started to crumble), I brainstormed a list of words that were top of my mind and heart for my 2023 One Little Word – you may notice a foreshadowing in this list (screenshot from my notes):

And I suppose I have had to tap into each of these words at different points in my year, but landed on the word BECOMING for a number of reasons that if you haven’t heard my story yet, will start to make sense as I tell my version of what has happened.

This quote from Michelle Obama is perfect in describing my next adventure so I will end on this and am excited to be back in my little corner of the internet, making sense of my world, myself and the world around me one post at a time.


39/40 on choosing a word each year

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Like many people, I love the week between Christmas and New Year’s….it’s quiet and a wonderful time for rest, reflection and goal-setting. I began choosing a word during my time at Treasury of Memories as it was big in the scrapbook world back then. And then it grew from there…..some words are more impactful than others, but I do love focusing on a word much more than exact resolutions that never seem to stick beyond January.

Here is a visual of my words so far and I’ll post a few links below of previous blog posts if you’re interested in exploring more on how to I used these.

One Little Word over the years….
2010- me (the year I went to Haiti and met Scott)
2011- you
2012- us (got married)
2013- rooted
2014- connect (Team Brave Dinosaurs formed February 2014)
2015- (survive), didn’t pick a word out of sheer chaos that was our journey this year including criminal trial and extremely hard trauma behaviors
2016- together (adoption!)
2017- allow
2018- spark
2019- value
2020- vision
2021- heal
2022 – reclaim

Picking a word is the hardest part….I love being inspired by what others choose and I usually have a few picked out to let simmer in my brain. Then throughout the first week of January, I see which ones rises to my heart/brain more than others. The moments of clarity in these moments of “choosing” are sweet and simple and help my investment in the word throughout the year.

Recently, on instagram, there have been some fun options to screenshot for ideas of words….here are three that I recently did and although I’ve already used Heal, I do love the idea of power and ideas since I have a whole lot of the latter and have been feeling very little of the former as of late.

And as I do each year, I would love to hear your word and also would love to hear your process for how you choose said word!!! Happy last week of 2022….one more “moment” to post and I will have completed by goal for this 40th year around the sun (better late than never).

On my One Little Word – 3 months in

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A little reflection on my One Little Word, RECLAIM, one quarter into this year.

First things first, I am really trying to reclaim some time for myself to recover and restore from the stresses of the current school year. I knew a big exercise goal would not be healthy for me so just focusing on 20 minutes of movement each day (no matter what it looks like or how many calories I actually burn) has been helpful. Plus, I love seeing the progress on this little circle tracker for the year.

I have loved my Pelo treadmill – the walk playlists and the ability to blog/be creative while I walk has been awesome for me!

With some amazing progress on his own self the past 6 months, Scott and I are trying to also work on our relationship and prioritizing date nights. We are on track for one date per week – we don’t want to get bored though so pass along any fun date night or day suggestions so we can keep things fresh!

As far as travel and adventures, we have been to both Arizona on a plane, Anacortes in our trailer and Leavenworth in a hotel – all great adventures both as a couple and with WonderBOY with us. We still have big dreams of going somewhere warm and tropical over Christmas vacation….but with a few looming family situations, we have to wait a while to officially book it.

Some of the things and/or activities I am still looking forward to reclaiming this year a bit more:
– reading more
– writing more (I’ve hit a bit of writers block for my 40 moments series)
– making money from my professional teachings/trainings

Overall, I am really leaning into listening to my body and giving it and my heart what it needs to navigate each day, hour, new stressful situation….I have always struggled with an even pull towards laziness and productivity with a special dose of guilt for each so finding this balance is always tricky for me.

And per usual, a fun tik Tok to tie up this blog post:

One Little Word 2022

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This word directly relates to where I perceived myself to be at on January 28th of 2020 where I made an Instagram story with the following sentiments.
“I’m a big goal setter but sometimes I push them back and procrastinate. This month and this year is different (said with a cringe amount of confidence). I’m leaning in and putting those steps out into the universe. I can see now that there are people and things being placed in my path that are meshing and aligning so well for what I’m trying to do. I can’t attribute that to anything else but my purpose coming to light. It’s driving me in a new way and I’m so thankful for that.”

Literally the. next. day, an event happened in my family that would rupture it’s very foundation of safety and my heart. The next month, my position in my district was taken away due to a failed levy. And the month after that, our schools were shut down to Covid-19 along with the rest of the world. So needless to say, my hopes, dreams and positive disposition about “everything happening for a reason and falling into place” was really shot to hell and my heart and mental health was in shambles. My theme song for that year would have been a combination of Alanis’ Morrisette’s “Ironic” and “Shot Through the Heart” by Bon Jovi.

So this year, my word that resonated the most with me is……

What I am hoping to reclaim:
– my marriage
– a new role as Mom to adults with trauma
– the belief in myself as a leader in education
– my pursuit of impactful experiences outside of school counseling role (public speaking, writing, podcast, etc.)
– prioritizing vacation and travel for our family and myself
– saying no to people or experiences that drag me down

Even “reclaimed” my hair which had gotten out of control long since the last time I cut it in March of 2020.

Here is what a fancy Facebook quiz told me about my 2022 and I rather like the final result:

Why does stubborn and independent have to be combined together two times?!?!? Sheesh I get it…..

A few other members of Team HB picked words as well –
Scott – GROWTH
WonderGIRL – RESTORE
WonderBOY – “your mom” (typical answer these days – oh joy)

If you’re interested in checking out my previous’ years words on the blog, just click the “one little word” tag below the post and they should all pop up.
2010- me (the year I went to Haiti and met Scott)
2011- you
2012- us (got married)
2013- rooted
2014- connect (Team Brave Dinosaurs formed February 2014)
2015- (survive), didn’t pick a word out of sheer chaos that was our journey this year including criminal trial and extremely hard trauma behaviors
2016- together (adoption!)
2017- allow
2018- spark
2019- value
2020- vision
2021- heal

A piece of the healing puzzle

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I know I have been absent on here the last couple of months – it is hard to discern what stories to share and what stories to keep private to protect the relationships and journeys of those I love and care for.

In usual end of year fashion, I look forward to publishing my yearly blog book and don’t want to miss out on a chance to tell some stories from this year – perhaps even with the purpose of sharing inspiration to others that could use it.

This year, my One Little Word was heal (read blog post here). Part of this was researching some alternative forms of healing to the usual suspects of medication and talk therapy. These forms of help definitely have a place in our world of mental health but what I am finding is that some mental health struggles can actually be resistant to this treatment or even worse, they can make some symptoms even worse.

My husband, who has struggled with mental health stemming from childhood trauma (his most accurate diagnosis would most likely be Complex-PTSD but very few clinicians give this diagnosis – especially to adults). After a rough patch this year, he agreed to try some alternative forms of treatment, including both Ketamine infusions and EMDR. I thought I would share a piece of his story (with his permission) about Ketamine, in case you or a loved one is also struggling with depression/anxiety that may be resistant to other forms of treatment.

Northwest Ketamine was recommended to us and he had a very good experience there. I will post a Part 2 with some of his own thoughts on the treatment.

Have you heard of Ketamine infusions before? If the answer is no and you or a loved one is struggling with mental health, remember to do some research and ask questions – there is more out there than medication and talk therapy!

One Little Word 2021

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I got some practice with my word for this year earlier in 2020 when it was needed desperately after some events literally broke our family and our future’s predictability into pieces. Restoring back to some version of “whole” was my focus for myself and for members of my family for the greater part of the year.

And now, I hope this word continues to be a prominent action (because I view it is an action, not an outcome) in our household but also I hope it takes root and grows and grows within our communities, nation and world.

My intentions for what this will look like:
– explore pathways to healing that we haven’t explored before
– prioritize time for each individual to find their “whole” self (personal development, mindfulness, exercise, etc.)
– prioritize time for relationships to heal and grow (not just as one larger family unit)
– become clear in the “why” of what I do, both professionally and personally

Obviously this is my greatest wish not only for the global Covid-19 pandemic but for the racial reckoning happening right now as well.

Also, a little knowledge to impart that I didn’t know before that inspired my choice of this word – did you know that “holy”, “health” and “hale” all come from the same root word, meaning “whole”? To quote Julie Holland from the book Good Chemistry, she writes “to heal is to restore to a state of wholeness. That’s my first job.” Amen and me too…..

  • My home screen to remind me of my OLW.

On my 2020 word

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My goal this year is to get one blog post published every 10 days….when I printed last years blog book and it was very thin compared to others, I reignited my passion for documenting our stories, using my creative juices, and journaling more often to capture my thoughts.

Each year, I choose a word to guide my year….last year was value and (when I remembered it), was a good tool for me to assess my choices, my time and energy and people around me and whether they truly did match up with my values.

This year my word is vision – with a new position at work that is still being crafted, some side projects that I’m excited about and my WonderGIRL turning 18 this year….looking at the future, being clear about my goals and wishes, and making tangible steps toward those goals is really important to me.

My other thought in choosing this word is to be very clear and have boundaries around things that might be “blocking” my vision or getting in the way of reaching my goals…..energy draining meetings or people, distraction of social media/Netflix, physical health and energy, just to name a few that pop up right now.

Both Scott and I are loving our Start Today journals, along with my Miracle Morning coloring book and Bob Goff devotional – our days are getting off to a kick ass, take names kind of start in 2020!

Life update….still obsessed with the Enneagram – learning others’ types and diving deeper into what mine says about my motivations and ways of interacting with others is still making me geek out big time. So I apologize in advance, for all the enneagram statements and jokes I will say in your presence in 2020….feel free to let me know your “opting out” at any point this year.

Team HB 2019 annual review

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This morning, our little crew took a trip to our local coffee shop to reflect together on our year and make big plans for 2020! We called it our annual review business meeting and even snagged the important meeting room to make it official.

For Scott and I, we reflected on this blog post to determine how far we made it on our goals. Turns out, we still have a lot of items still to check off and make more of so we’ll be continuing these efforts into 2020 (and maybe beyond that depending on the goal):

(From blog post)
“Some missing pieces that we’d like to change next year:
– being more intentional with how we’re showing love to our children (love languages, quality time, etc.)
– accept where they’re at
– commit to a trip together without kiddos
– attend a personal development conference together
– more transparency about mental health struggles in hopes that stigma goes down in families around us
– host more things at our house….we love our space and want more people in it with us!!!”

I also downloaded an awesome packet for both wonders from Big Life Journal and had them work on it together. The prompts and questions were easy for them to navigate while still digging deeper than a surface level conversation starter like “how was your year”? Plus it’s 25% off through Thursday the 2nd if you’re interested in doing this activity with your kiddos also!! Once they are finished, I will share some of their thoughts and writing to check back on later this year.

A little coloring action to highlight my 2019 word – VALUE.

My one little word this year was VALUE – although it didn’t resonate with me big time, when I took the time to reflect on the word and compare my daily actions or behaviors it really helped me stick to boundaries and priorities in my life. Read more about my 2019 word HERE. I can confidently say that my values of connection and growth were lived out on the daily in my life both personally and professionally this year – even when that connection or growth felt HARD and HEAVY.

We decided as a team this morning to keep checking in on these goals by having a “business meeting” each month to bring up our goals and reflect on our growth towards them. This is where having older kiddos has been so great for me – teaching goal-setting, growth mindset, and self-care to two kiddos who will NEED those things big time in their adult lives (plus how it helps the hubby and I right along with them).