Tag Archives: WonderBOY

21/40 – summer at the bowling alley

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WonderBOY has fully taken advantage of the Kids Bowl Free program this summer. And with the super cheap family pass option, so have Scott and I. He loves it so much he’ll even ride the bus or ride his bike down there to get his two free games in on his own.

As a teenager, I got to spend the same amount of hours at the bowling alley for a couple of different reasons. They did give out free games for report cards but also my father worked at the bowling alley, so I had lots of rides and lots of friends who wanted to bowl along with me (okay maybe not lots….just Joe, Kevin, and Paul really).

And just like I did then, I bring along my special ball with CHYNA engraved on it that I inherited from a bowler that passed away 20+ years ago when I got the remnants of her locker. Also, each trip usually means a side of fries (with tarter) and a trip to DQ afterward depending on what kind of wager we put on the games.

Mt. Baker Lanes hasn’t changed a whole lot…the same amazing friendly owners, good (actually delicious) food, and the nostalgic lanes bring back lots of happy memories for me. And I’m excited for it to hopefully be a happy memory for WB as well.

Happy 14th Birthday WonderBOY!

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My little man turns 14 today and I thought I would take this chance to document some of the things that I love about him as he grows into a young man and never want to forget.

1. His empathy – I am sure this a byproduct of his early childhood, but this child can sense when we are 10% sadder, madder, upset, etc and will instantly come check on what’s wrong.
2. Every morning he asks me how I slept and every time I come home he specifically asks how work, practice, my meeting went (and genuinely listens to my answer).
3. He never stops talking….which yes gets him in trouble at school but at home means we get to hear all about his thoughts, his friends, his wonderings….and I love that.
4. He is becoming very articulate about his feelings….although it was painful at the time, I got to witness him share his vulnerable feelings with his older sister and her impact on him in a way that brought tears to my eyes. Not because of the words and impact (although that was heartbreaking), but because I know we have helped him find his voice, make sense of his childhood trauma triggers, and feel brave enough to share that with others.
5. When Scott is at work, WB loves to watch my nighttime show with me (Gilmore Girls forever)….but is deeply offended when I turn over to face away from him. “Noooooo not the butt side. Then I can’t see your face.” It literally makes me melt and laugh all at the same time…..

And some embarrassing yet CCCUUUUTTTTEEEEE older photos that I can’t resist posting:

We’re headed to Kyotos for his birthday dinner and I’m hoping he will put on a repeat performance.

And maybe because WG is out there navigating adult life but for some reason, WB turning 14 feels like the beginning of the END and he will be leaving us soon. I peeked out the window the other day and he was BEHIND THE WHEEL and parking the truck (with Scott guiding of course). My little nugget was in charge of a whole large vehicle and I’m pretty sure my heart stopped…..so there’s that.

I love him so and can’t wait to continue watching his personality and relationships grow and thrive.

On our visit to Atlanta

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Last July, we went along on a work trip with Scott to Atlanta – WonderBOY and I got to explore and swim during the days while he was at his conference. In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day today, I thought I would share some pictures and experiences from the very birthplace of such an important leader in our history.

My most memorable moment(s) of the 3-day trip was taking WB to the National Center for Civil and Human Rights – many recommended it to me but also noted “but it’s probably pretty boring for a teenager.”

But WB was SOOOOO engaged the entire time. He took over 100 photos on his camera, asked a million questions, read almost every display and talked about the experience with Dad forever at dinner that night.

Reading about children who died during this time – this boy was only 13, the same age as WonderBOY.

Some quotes and questions I don’t want to forget him saying and asking:
“I know if I look more native (he’s a registered member of Choctaw nation but presents as very Caucasian), I might get treated differently and that’s not okay.”
“I don’t understand why we don’t learn more of THIS information in school.”
“Are there any jobs after high school I can do to keep this work going?”

Other impactful displays at the Center.

We also participated in a simulation of a diner “sit-in” protest with the Freedom Riders – with headphones on and sitting at the diner counter, we had sounds of horrific abuse in our ears as our chair and counter rumbled beneath us. It was only 40 seconds of the experience (and I did not know what we were getting into when stepping in line) and because of WonderBOY’s history, I was worried about trauma triggers during the whole thing…..but he was so moved by it, rightfully angered by it, and had so many questions – I knew it was worth it.

Just this week, he watched a movie in class about Dr. MLK Jr. and the Freedom Riders and I know he was 100% more engaged and curious, because he had this experience in his realm of knowledge in a variety of forms (music, physical touch, vision, physical, etc.).

WB loved this image so much, we bought a canvas for his room to always remember this visit.

So, long story short….if you’re ever in Atlanta, GA, I would HIGHLY recommend this tour. Even if you have children, even if they are “hard to please” teens and even if other tours or tourist attractions seem more flashy. It will be time WELL SPENT.

On my favorite “gives”

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I love giving gifts that mean something to the receiver and honoring something from that particular point in time. I don’t always knock it out of the park and sometimes I just run out of time, but I was excited about a few things this particular Christmas.

Honoring a lost loved one:
The Wonders’ biological mother passed away a few years ago which resulted in some complicated grief for both of them in their own ways. I wanted to honor her memory in a way that both of them could access when desired and for years to come. We had saved letters that she had written to the kiddos when they were in foster care and she was working on getting them back. Although the entirety of the letter is not her handwriting, I knew the signature was and had that made into special bracelets for them.

The box included the bracelet, the original letter, and a laminated picture of her signature to keep all in one special spot.

Honoring a hard year(s):
Each year, our family members write letters to each other and those are the first things we open Christmas morning. I combined my love of photos with my new favorite song/anthem of the year (from my favorite new podcast of the year). Each time I heard this song, I would imagine what it would be like for each of my family members to TRULY believe the words and live their truth and best, healed lives moving forward and it got me each time. If you ever saw me singing in my car, it was most likely to this song at a high volume (or a 90’s hip hop playlist). Their “letters” included a special picture from this year, a card explaining the lyrics and a special laminated (can you tell I got a laminator for Christmas?) picture with the lyrics overplayed for them to display somewhere they might need it.

Stay tuned for another blog post with one more special present I gifted this year. What was your favorite that you watched someone unwrap with love this year?

On WonderBOY’s 13th birthday

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Our WonderBOY is officially a WonderTEEN…..so many changes in his body, voice, and behaviors within the past year and seeing him as a young man is making me want to slow down time!

One thing I want to remember about the pandemic and stay at home is how much healing happened for WB….he is truly a creature of habit and connection and this time at home has truly been a gift for him and all of us. From stress and holes in wall the first month to sleeping in his own bed and a much better response to his anxiety and anger now. We are so very proud of you!!!

  • Sleeping pictures of WB make my heart melt into a sappy puddle.
Birthday weeks get shared for these two!! How special…..

WonderBOY takes over the blog….

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A little bit about me right now:
I am 10 years old. Today I might be able to play with my new friends in the neighborhood and yes. I like to play basketball and volleyball – I’m on a team for both of those. And I like to make Christmas cards for the neighborhood.What do you want to be when you grow up and why?
I want to grow up to be a basketball player or a soccer player because they’re both with a ball.  You run a lot and I like running….kind of. And you can dribble the ball and kick the ball as soon as you can and try to score. And anything with a ball I will play with.What’s on your Christmas wish list this year?
– Wall ping pong (“electronics-wise” he says)
– Laser tag
– Football that can fit in my hands
– I wish for our neighborhood and other neighborhoods and poor neighborhoods to have good Christmases and to get something they couldn’t get before.What did you work hard on in 2018?
– being nice to other people
– standing up for others
– my handwriting and doing better in math
– writing more sentences in people’s Christmas cards
– serving other people (favorite service projects: giving toys away, serving coffee to people on Thanksgiving and greeting them at the community meal)
Favorite parts of 2018:
One of my favorite parts of this year was deep cleaning my room and giving away almost all of my stuff to other kids. Now I actually like spending time in my room with all the space. Yesterday we got to watch The Grinch at the movie theatre and four weeks ago, we watched Instant Family. This summer, we went to Birch Bay Water Slides. That’s all I can think of – I can’t remember a lot.
Hopes for 2019:
I hope we get cereal again in our house (haha we banned cereal from our home about 4 months ago and the kids are rioting). I also hope for other people to have a great year.


What I want to remember….

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about my sweet, lovable WonderBOY….we are having a rough go with him, his emerging hormones, and his anger right now. So this weekend in between the door slams and the verbal attacks, I really tried to focus on the true him and what I see from his heart and his true self coming out as he grows older.

Here are a few slices of cuteness I captured:His amazing chess skills and how this game has produced some academic and social outcomes we are so proud of (also this Mario chess board is the coolest).He is still very much interested in the restaurant business. This week, he is setting the stage for a different style restaurant each night. Tonight was fancy (even Rexie got in on the action) with his restaurant named “Da Da Daaaaa!” complete with placemats, candles, and upbeat Disney tunes.He found a butterfly barely moving at the archery range this afternoon and wanted to “save him” and has been tending to “Flappy” all night long. The poor thing is still barely moving (if really at all) so we’ll see how this little adventure plays out.

As I say to him each and every night, I am so lucky to be his mama. To which he usually replies, “I am so lucky to be your mama…..oops I mean your boy.”

WonderBOY’s life update

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Hey buddy…..what would you like to blog about today?
I want to talk about my pizza place It’s called Pizza Fresh (originally Pizza Good). You order and then it will be ready in about an hour…..well not an hour, that’s too long. A half hour. When you order, it will be ready. Then you can order your drink at either the bar or upfront. There’s going to be a ladder and counselors to watch your kids. If you want the kids to stay with you, you can, but the counselors do fun activities on the big playground outside. And there’s a thing for babies if you have a baby. There will be a watch for $15-$10 dollars for teenagers, there is a teenage section but if the teenager wants to go with the counselor it will be $20. It’s so much because they’re bigger and they won’t want to be there. If your child is lower than 5, they are free and 6-10 year olds are $5.

There is going to be lots of pizzas like cheese, pepperoni…..kind of like Coconut Kenny’s or Mod Pizza. But we make the pizza and you choose what toppings, we give the pizza out and we make sure it’s cool so you can eat it. We set it out on your pizza and then you get up and put the toppings on. And it’s open Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. It won’t be open on Wednesday and Saturday because my workers need breaks and there might be a lot of people going there every day so they’ll be tired. It will be open at 9 o’clock to 9 o’clock at night. If you ever want to work there, you’re going to have get there at 7am.

On soccer – 
We skipped a lot of practices because of the rain. It’s my first time playing this sport and so far, I think it’s good. My first game was good. We lost which is okay. I got hurt though in the stomach (it was somewhere else that I don’t want you to type). Mmmmmm…..I played defender with my friend Luca. My coach is nice. I know a person from basketball named Trey.

On Daddy and Sissy’s trip to Haiti – 
I miss Daddy and sis so much. But I call them every night. But I’m glad they are in Haiti because they help kids that are poor and it’s one of the poorest countries in the world. I feel bad for them so I’m mad at Daddy for going every year but he has to….well he doesn’t have to, he wants to because he does it to make sure kids are healthy. I like snuggling with Mom a lot but on the inside I’m yelling for Daddy.(I was home sick today and it was his early release so we got lots of couch/cuddle time today) – love this boy. He has had amazing behavior with Daddy being gone despite his big time anxiety with Daddy out of the country. My little man turns 10 in April – I can’t believe how big he is getting on the inside and out!

On the power of chess….

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My little man has always been into board games and learning how to play chess came very easily for him. What a great chance to learn patience, problem solving, and thinking through moves before we make them (all traits we are furiously working on in life with our wonders day in and day out). Especially for kids with trauma, these pathways in his brain (overriding “fight or flight” with “stop, breathe, think”) need to be reinforced over and over again and chess is a great vehicle to make that happen! He joined an after school chess club this year and we’ve seen some amazing improvements in his schoolwork, attention and general temperament since he started.They have all-day chess tournaments around the county (who knew???) so we got to partake in one at FHS last week and it was such a fun and relaxing day supporting him (and running into old friends – bonus!!!!). I am really grateful WonderBOY has found something other than sports he can devote some time and energy into to become the well-rounded man I wish for him to be!My friend Anna sent me this great article highlighting the benefits of this great game that I thought I would pass along to you too. Click here to read!

A WONDERful 2016

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My intention with this blog was/is to document the big and little stories of US just as we are. Here are a few slices of that world that I hope never to forget.

First of all, these two littles ones love each other so much. Their joy and giggles when they are around each other are truly unique, considering how many years are between them. This year, they begun having some deeper conversations but also begun pestering each other to no end. And while I know that is a normal sibling phenomenon, I find a spark of comfort in their endless bickering because it is far better than their dysfunctional parenting dynamic when they came to live with us….in our home, when WB and WG are exhibiting age-appropriate and normal behaviors, even the problematic ones, we are happy about it!WonderGIRL’s highlights from 2016:First of all, these pictures give me all the feels because our LITTLE girl is growing up. Especially in the last 6 months or so, her attitude, demeanor and looks have really matured. I am especially proud of how much she is overcoming in regards to adjusting to our new family and accepting/processing her past family and memories that pop up for her. We are really grateful for a great counselor for WonderGIRL to help with this processing because sometimes my own emotions can cloud the true listening that she needs.

This year, she got braces, a new cell phone, and a broken leg as she performed a pretty awesome front flip at the Trampoline Zone. This year, she also complained about her braces, lost her cell phone due to breaking our fairly strict contract, and gained lots of sympathy and attention for said broken leg…..all markers of a darn-near typical teenage girlie.

WonderGIRL’s highlights:
Movie: Moana (girl power!!!) and Pirates of the Carribbean
TV show: Gilmore Girls with mama
Books: Twilight series and A Dog’s Purpose/Journey
Music: Ariana Grande, Alessia Cara and Justin Beiber
Favorite memory: Getting my phone (she says with jazz hands above her head)
Funniest quote that Mama’s brain can remember on Dec. 30th: “This sand is so different than the sand in Cannon Beach.” (Mama: “Uh….this is Cannon Beach”). Her memory and attention skills create some pretty humorous (and repetitive) conversations, let me tell ya.

WonderBOY’s highlights:
This boy turned 8 this year and while I still view him as my little squishy, cuddly, little guy….sometimes his maturity and logic really amaze me (as does the picture above where he looks so darn grown up)! This year, he has finally started connecting the dots between making good choices and being truthful and how much more peaceful our days can be together. He is down to only 1 timeout every couple of weeks and that, my friends, is a miracle. There are many times during family conversations that WB has the appropriate and wise answer regarding behavior and choices before his big sis.

This year was our first conference at school, that his BEHAVIORS fit in with the rest of his peers. Although he still struggles with some learning, he is respectful and focused in class and we are so proud of him for that! At home, WB is most often found in his underwear as this kid just runs at a hotter temperature than the rest of us. With the big snow that came this year, we had to buy some athletic leggings to go under his usual uniform of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. Speaking of basketball, he began playing on an organized team this year and we love watching his skills and understanding of the game grow and grow. My coach’s heart and brain is especially happy when I see what a good teammate he is from the bench, cheering on his teammates and supporting their every move.

WonderBOY’s highlights:
Movie: Sing
TV show: Teen Titans GO!
Books: Notebook of Doom and Eerie Elementary
Music:Jason DeRulo and FloRida
Favorite memory: Great Wolf Lodge, Portland on the train, and Cannon Beach
Funniest quote that Mama’s brain can remember on Dec. 30th: “Hey there how ya doing….balk balk” (said in an extremely cute and accurate parrot voice with a switch to a chicken for the finale)This pic cracks me up because we get this blank look as soon we ask WB to do something he doesn’t want to do. We’re onto you and your little tricks of looking cute to get out of hard work…..and it only worked a few times half the time mister.

Thank you for reading this little blog stroll along memory lane…..I can’t wait to check back in a year and see how far they will continue to grow and thrive! Cheers to a new year!!!