Every year we do our Christmas morning letter tradition and my mama heart loves it so much. It particularly means more when we have a hard year or add a new member to our tribe and watch them experience it for the first time….here are a few highlights I want to remember from our 2018 letters. 
Category Archives: Team Brave Dinosaurs
BraveGIRL gets a turn…
A little bit about me right now:
I am fifteen years old and it’s almost my birthday. I love to drive and watch family movies with my family. I like to work out and listen to music. My favorite pandora stations are Jason Derulo, Luke Bryan, Migos and Chris Brown (don’t yell at me….no one likes him but I still do).
What do you want to be when you grow up and why?
I want to be veterinarian because I could give animals shots but that’s a lot of college so just something to do with animals. Or an childcare worker.
What’s on your Christmas wish list this year?
– phone
– gift cards to Pink or Hollister
What did you work hard on in 2018?
– starting two different jobs
– drivers ed and tests for those
– sticking with working out
– accepting no’s when I’m disappointed
– not interrupting
Favorite parts of 2018:
Going on camping trips. I have been trying to grow into this family. I liked going on family trips with my boyfriend’s family, especially swimming in Canada. I like that I have a job that I like and being able to drive makes me feel more independent and responsible.
Hopes for 2019:
I hope that I will stay out of trouble so I can earn a new phone and privileges like hanging out with my boyfriend and driving places. I hope that I also start to have a clear vision of what I want to do after graduation. I hope when my twin moves away from me, she will have a good home and be able to make new friends….and not get bit by a snake or alligator (they’re moving to Georgia this Spring).
WonderGIRL’s holiday and year reflection
A little bit about me right now:
I’m doing horse lessons. I go to a private school and I’m like super excited about it. I don’t know. What am I supposed to say? I’m in a good home?
What do you want to be when you grow up and why?
I want to be a baker and two times a week, we will have kids come in. I like doing hands on objects and I like kids so both of those things combined is a great job.
What’s on your Christmas wish list this year?
– clothes
– romance books
– gift cards to places
What did you work hard on in 2018?
– trying to have connections with my family
– trying to trust my parents
– doing things without freaking out…..like working out and saying yes when I don’t like the directions
Favorite parts of 2018:
My sweet sixteen because my family was there and I got to enjoy hanging out with them. I love bonfires and we got to have one. At first, I wasn’t so sure about my new school but now I’m happy I switched and I like it there. I was super excited about being in my school’s Christmas play. I was Mary. Our adoption celebration when we went out to Red Robin I remember too because I like celebrating that every year.
Hopes for 2019:
I hope that I keep my grades up and that I earn more trust. I hope that kids in foster care get a home because I know what it feels like and it sucks. I want them to know that they are loved. I hope for Mama and Daddy to not be so stressed next year and I will do my best to keep that stress down.
WonderBOY takes over the blog….
A little bit about me right now:
I am 10 years old. Today I might be able to play with my new friends in the neighborhood and yes. I like to play basketball and volleyball – I’m on a team for both of those. And I like to make Christmas cards for the neighborhood.
What do you want to be when you grow up and why?
I want to grow up to be a basketball player or a soccer player because they’re both with a ball. You run a lot and I like running….kind of. And you can dribble the ball and kick the ball as soon as you can and try to score. And anything with a ball I will play with.
What’s on your Christmas wish list this year?
– Wall ping pong (“electronics-wise” he says)
– Laser tag
– Football that can fit in my hands
– I wish for our neighborhood and other neighborhoods and poor neighborhoods to have good Christmases and to get something they couldn’t get before.
What did you work hard on in 2018?
– being nice to other people
– standing up for others
– my handwriting and doing better in math
– writing more sentences in people’s Christmas cards
– serving other people (favorite service projects: giving toys away, serving coffee to people on Thanksgiving and greeting them at the community meal)
Favorite parts of 2018:
One of my favorite parts of this year was deep cleaning my room and giving away almost all of my stuff to other kids. Now I actually like spending time in my room with all the space. Yesterday we got to watch The Grinch at the movie theatre and four weeks ago, we watched Instant Family. This summer, we went to Birch Bay Water Slides. That’s all I can think of – I can’t remember a lot.
Hopes for 2019:
I hope we get cereal again in our house (haha we banned cereal from our home about 4 months ago and the kids are rioting). I also hope for other people to have a great year.
On Instant Family – ours and the movie
In full disclosure, I was going into this movie expecting to pull a few scenes of comparison to our story of fostering our Wonders to document here on this blog. And then the few scenes became 10….and then the ending was so closely related to ours…..that it rocked my core, had my entire crew in sobbing, loud tears, and would be impossible to sum up in one blog post. This movie did an amazing job of documenting the trauma, grief and hilariously ridiculous journey that is fostering both the little and not-so little kiddos in need of families. Both Scott and I commented on how we knew where the actual foster parents were sitting because their laughter was a little louder, laced with a little pain, and came at parts that other members of the audience weren’t sure if they were “allowed” to laugh at such a scene.
We decided to bring our “instant” kiddos along to see this movie….knowing there was swear words and knowing it might bring up some trauma for them. As usual, I don’t shy away from these opportunities in movies….I think the bringing up of emotions and processing that can happen afterward is very powerful and seeing their story depicted accurately on a movie scene can be normalizing and healing in a way.
The part that was hardest to watch and hardest for our kiddos was where the poor trio of kiddos were anticipating going back with their biological mother towards the end of the movie….and instead got a social worker showing up to say that biological mother had disappeared. The grief and abandonment was so raw, EVEN though the new loving family was there and ready to swoop in. This scene was our exact story towards the end of our fostering journey heading toward adoption and WonderGIRL and BOY still process how hurt and angry she is that her biological mother didn’t “show up to court to fight for them.”
If you are a foster parent, or you have foster parents in your tribe, please go see this movie. Sometimes it is hard for us to talk through all of the pain and chaos that is happening in our house, because we want to protect the childrens’ stories and keep their pain contained. But the compassion fatigue, confusion over triggers, system brokenness, and other perils are amazingly showcased in this movie and could give you some perspective and a little “day in the life” view of life in the foster system.
Have you seen this yet??? HIGHLY recommend (obviously). Once you see it, remember you can’t unsee it….and there are a million ways you can support foster families and children in our area especially coming up on the holiday season….reach out and ask if you’re willing and wanting to learn more!!!
August recap
Wow. A whole month has gone by and I haven’t posted!!!! August was a fun month filled with last chance summer trips, together time and prepping for school/volleyball.
Here are a few shots to sum it all up:
While September is in full swing and our calendar is filled with all sorts of goodness, posts to come include a new adventure for WonderGIRL, some intentional steps in our marriage, and some thoughts on the hard job of growing up. Intention is my focus for September and that includes what I document here in this space…..hope you are having a great transition to Fall my friends!
On the magic of repeating….
Back when our wonders were still in foster care, we tried to create memories that they could cherish once they moved on or back to their forever family. We wanted to fill their worlds with wonder and joy and the innocent excitement of childhood that they had missed out on in their early years.
And then time passed….and more time passed….and we got to start repeating trips and traditions. And that is where the magic happens for me. Each repeat trip or activity feels like “normalcy” for our family and lays a foundational block in our family history and story that I certainly do not take for granted. Camping at Deception Pass is one of those repeat traditions that we almost didn’t go on this year due to crazy schedules but we found a spot and squeezed in a few days and I am so glad we did.
BraveGIRL calls this shot “couple goals” and made us stand in front of the beautiful sunset for her (awwww teenagers).
It was a joy introducing our new BraveGIRL to our camping tradition…..she entertained us nightly at the campfire with beautiful singing and scary campfire tales that had WonderBOY completely enthralled.
I love watching Scott and his love of all things nature spill out onto the kiddos as they go exploring (sometimes my anxiety and dislike of messes keep me from enjoying these moments but I am working on that).
P.S. If you have never gone camping at Deception Pass…..it is seriously the best. The lake to swim, the ocean to explore, the bajillion of trials in the trees????? It’s awesome and super close to us!!!
Intentional Summer 2018
It should not have taken me this long to both complete my poster and post this….but such is life (hence the #wesurvivedJune) seen below.
Here is our past intentional summer projects: 2017 and 2016 (spoiler alert – our summers are pretty low key around here)….I got a few extra posters printed for my readers (thank you sweet Elizabeth) so check out the bottom of this post for how to enter my small freebie giveaway.
I have TWO blank posters to give away if anyone would like them (better late than never)…..post in the FB comments what you’re looking forward to in July and I’ll pick a winner Friday!
On Mother’s Day….
Today we pray for staying present, being grateful, and healing. 
Here is our story…..one teenage girl whose mother was stolen from her. Another’s who abandoned her. And one confused 10 year old boy who can’t even remember what his mother looks like because he was told a different woman was actually his mother. The complication is deep, the wounds are real, and my place in their lives is truly an honor (and at times oh so exhausting to be avoiding these triggers). 
What you don’t see erased and written over in my Mother’s Day card: Will you please let me see my real mom???? At school this week while his classmates (some….lots of our kiddos have trauma) are simply writing a card to a mom that they have done for 9 years before, he is confused and struggling and wishing perhaps things were different for him. That someone didn’t love him and guessing at reasons why…..
So today….we heal from the week of physical attacks and emotional ones too. And we spend a sunny day together and feel what a new feeling of family feels like…..one that doesn’t leave. We practice being fully present and we love fully.
To all of you readers out there with equally complicated mom stories….whether it’s your mom or perhaps you may be struggling with a burning desire to be a mom, I pray you get to be present and surrounded by your tribe today rooted in love and compassion. And if anyone is interested, we’ll be drinking wine and enjoying the sun at Vartanyan winery today after lunch – feel free to join us!
WonderBOY is 10!!!!
I have a lot of mixed emotions about this cuddly little love turning two whole hands today…..so I’ll just leave these cute flashback pics to his first birthday with us and his most recent. 
I got to attend a conference at Great Wolf Lodge for the past two days which meant a very special solo trip with me and Dad to play all day and night to honor his special day. This last picture is so incredibly forced but also does he not look like a full fledged teenager?!?!? (Full bribing to get his dippin dots here – no shame)
To my boobaloo forever – you light up my world and I am so lucky to be your mama. I’ll eat you up I love you so….let the wild rumpus start. Guess what? I love you. Guess what else? I love you more. Guess what else? I love you the most.