Category Archives: Marriage

On #couplegoals

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Like many other women these days, I have been drinking up the Rachel Hollis Kool-aid, complete with reading her book, consuming all of her online content and listening to her new podcast with her husband. She is a force of a woman and I love that about her. I also appreciate her intentional moves with her husband to connect and plan their life….something that’s been nagging at my heart and our marriage for a while as we navigate a new life with 3 older children.Once I thought through some of the latest squabbles in our relationship, so many of them came from little misunderstandings about our busy schedule. Honoring your partner’s need for hobbies, and interests and yes their own life AND getting all the kids to all the things is a tricky balance. I love Rachel’s suggestion of sitting down each Sunday and going through the week…we are one month into this new adventure and it’s been a great connecting point at the end of each weekend and has made our weeks (filled with three different school schedules, my volleyball schedule, and Scott’s hunting) feel a little bit smoother.We have also been trying to get a monthly date night in starting this summer and hopefully continuing….making this an effort will not only improve our own connection, but also show our kiddos who are starting to be interested in romantic relationships a positive model of respect and pursuing your partner, even as adult married (yet still independent) humans.

One conversation we held during a date night during the summer was setting our VALUES as a couple. I thought I would document those here (just in case we lose our way and the only way back is to google search my blog for important life contents).

Scott and Patti’s Relationship Values (in no particular order of importance):
1. Quality time together – yearly vacations, building downtime into weekends (saying no to all the invites)
2. Communication about conflict/feelings – we don’t keep things under wraps and we don’t allow our children to let things go “unresolved” (we also resolve our conflict in front of our children….hoping they see the problem solving, grace, and forgiveness involved in a true relationship)
3. Personal Growth – we believe in therapy, we believe in personal growth books, we believe in moving forward and becoming better selves
4. Pursuit of passions – each of us has passions outside of our family and we support each other in time away to enjoy those things
5. Traditions/Celebrations – we love yearly chances to celebrate family moments and we do so, unapologetically…..live-a-versaries, forever family days, birthdays, behavior improvement rewards, etc.Have you tried this with your partner or children?? It turned out to be a great conversation and led me to do some analyzing about how we spend our time and whether or not that REALLY matched up with the values we agreed upon. Happy Thursday everyone!

August recap

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Wow. A whole month has gone by and I haven’t posted!!!! August was a fun month filled with last chance summer trips, together time and prepping for school/volleyball.

Here are a few shots to sum it all up:

While September is in full swing and our calendar is filled with all sorts of goodness, posts to come include a new adventure for WonderGIRL, some intentional steps in our marriage, and some thoughts on the hard job of growing up. Intention is my focus for September and that includes what I document here in this space…..hope you are having a great transition to Fall my friends!

On our wedding song….

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Our first dance song during our wedding was probably one that only a few in the room/barn knew but one that was super impactful for me for many many years. “A Page is Turned” by Bebo Norman is sung by an artist that my girlfriends and I met on a Young Life trip to Malibu in high school and became an obsession for all of us and me well Into my college years and beyond (his Pandora station is one of my faves). I had always thought it would be the perfect wedding song before I had a partner to marry and then as I was planning our special day with Scott and listened to the lyrics, my eyes were filled with tears on how perfect and God-orchestrated the words were for us and our story filled with storms and preparing “the one to hold (us) up when (we) come undone”.

A page is turned by the wind to a boy in curly grin
With a world to conquer at the age of ten
But as history unfolds and the storybook is told
He finds salvation but not at the hands of man
And the God of second chance
Picked him up and He let him dance
Through a world that is not kind
And all this time, preparing him, the one
To hold him up when he comes undone
Beneath the storm, beneath the sun
And now a man, here you stand
Your day has come
A page is turned in this world to reveal a little girl
With a heart that’s bigger, as it is unfurled
By the language in her soul, that’s teaching her to grow
With a careful cover of love that will not fail
And the God of second chance
Picked her up and He let her dance
Through a world that isn’t kind
And all this time, preparing her the one
To hold her up when she comes undone
Beneath the storm, beneath the sun
And grown up tall, here you are
Your day has come
Beneath the air of autumn, she took him by the hand
And warm beneath the ardor, she took his heart instead
And high upon the mountain, he asked her for her hand….just for her hand

 A page is turned in this life, he’s making her his wife
And there is no secret to the source of this much lifeWhen the grace falls like rain is washing them again
Just a chance to somehow rise above this land

Where the God of second chance
Will pick them up and He’ll let them danceThrough a world that is not kind
And all this time, they’re sharing with the one
That holds them up when they come undoneBeneath the storm, beneath the sun
And once again, here you stand
And once again, here you stand
Your day has come

To Scott….thank you for always holding me up when I’ve come undone. And dancing with me through all the storms and all the sun. One day more and one day less…..until there are no more days to count. I love you.