Daddy worked Christmas Eve so we had to do some snuggling in bed before we got to do presents!!! Good thing Santa was prepared for early morning snoopers. 
As many of you know, WonderGIRL has been working really hard to make good choices and earn trust. Her “big” gift from us was permission to finally date/have a boyfriend and practice extending relationship lessons to a romantic one in a safe environment and under our watch. You can imagine the squeals and clapping that happened upon opening! 
WonderBOY got his usually nerf guns and balls, a super fun new Sushi Go card game and a trip to see WWE live with Daddy and his uncles which he is so excited for. 
BraveGIRL was delighted to open a new iPhone on Christmas morning – we are glad we have full control over her phone and the apps now to properly monitor for safety. Win-win. Also all of us girls got new comfy pajamas that we’ve been living in since Christmas. 
our “something to read” gifts this year all had a theme and we’ve been diving into the 5 love languages with the girls and with Scott and I during some quiet reading time by the tree. Having the kiddos complete the quizzes to find their love language has been eye-opening and helpful in connecting with them in different ways. 
Jesus made it into our manger filled with straw (acts of kindness we completed before Christmas). Next year, we plan to start The Giving Manger project right at Thanksgiving to give us more time to add straw!! I highly recommend this book/products for your family to encourage serving to littles in a new and exciting way!
On all the feels…
Every year we do our Christmas morning letter tradition and my mama heart loves it so much. It particularly means more when we have a hard year or add a new member to our tribe and watch them experience it for the first time….here are a few highlights I want to remember from our 2018 letters. 
Merry Christmas from THB!
BraveGIRL gets a turn…
A little bit about me right now:
I am fifteen years old and it’s almost my birthday. I love to drive and watch family movies with my family. I like to work out and listen to music. My favorite pandora stations are Jason Derulo, Luke Bryan, Migos and Chris Brown (don’t yell at me….no one likes him but I still do).
What do you want to be when you grow up and why?
I want to be veterinarian because I could give animals shots but that’s a lot of college so just something to do with animals. Or an childcare worker.
What’s on your Christmas wish list this year?
– phone
– gift cards to Pink or Hollister
What did you work hard on in 2018?
– starting two different jobs
– drivers ed and tests for those
– sticking with working out
– accepting no’s when I’m disappointed
– not interrupting
Favorite parts of 2018:
Going on camping trips. I have been trying to grow into this family. I liked going on family trips with my boyfriend’s family, especially swimming in Canada. I like that I have a job that I like and being able to drive makes me feel more independent and responsible.
Hopes for 2019:
I hope that I will stay out of trouble so I can earn a new phone and privileges like hanging out with my boyfriend and driving places. I hope that I also start to have a clear vision of what I want to do after graduation. I hope when my twin moves away from me, she will have a good home and be able to make new friends….and not get bit by a snake or alligator (they’re moving to Georgia this Spring).
WonderGIRL’s holiday and year reflection
A little bit about me right now:
I’m doing horse lessons. I go to a private school and I’m like super excited about it. I don’t know. What am I supposed to say? I’m in a good home?
What do you want to be when you grow up and why?
I want to be a baker and two times a week, we will have kids come in. I like doing hands on objects and I like kids so both of those things combined is a great job.
What’s on your Christmas wish list this year?
– clothes
– romance books
– gift cards to places
What did you work hard on in 2018?
– trying to have connections with my family
– trying to trust my parents
– doing things without freaking out…..like working out and saying yes when I don’t like the directions
Favorite parts of 2018:
My sweet sixteen because my family was there and I got to enjoy hanging out with them. I love bonfires and we got to have one. At first, I wasn’t so sure about my new school but now I’m happy I switched and I like it there. I was super excited about being in my school’s Christmas play. I was Mary. Our adoption celebration when we went out to Red Robin I remember too because I like celebrating that every year.
Hopes for 2019:
I hope that I keep my grades up and that I earn more trust. I hope that kids in foster care get a home because I know what it feels like and it sucks. I want them to know that they are loved. I hope for Mama and Daddy to not be so stressed next year and I will do my best to keep that stress down.
WonderBOY takes over the blog….
A little bit about me right now:
I am 10 years old. Today I might be able to play with my new friends in the neighborhood and yes. I like to play basketball and volleyball – I’m on a team for both of those. And I like to make Christmas cards for the neighborhood.
What do you want to be when you grow up and why?
I want to grow up to be a basketball player or a soccer player because they’re both with a ball. You run a lot and I like running….kind of. And you can dribble the ball and kick the ball as soon as you can and try to score. And anything with a ball I will play with.
What’s on your Christmas wish list this year?
– Wall ping pong (“electronics-wise” he says)
– Laser tag
– Football that can fit in my hands
– I wish for our neighborhood and other neighborhoods and poor neighborhoods to have good Christmases and to get something they couldn’t get before.
What did you work hard on in 2018?
– being nice to other people
– standing up for others
– my handwriting and doing better in math
– writing more sentences in people’s Christmas cards
– serving other people (favorite service projects: giving toys away, serving coffee to people on Thanksgiving and greeting them at the community meal)
Favorite parts of 2018:
One of my favorite parts of this year was deep cleaning my room and giving away almost all of my stuff to other kids. Now I actually like spending time in my room with all the space. Yesterday we got to watch The Grinch at the movie theatre and four weeks ago, we watched Instant Family. This summer, we went to Birch Bay Water Slides. That’s all I can think of – I can’t remember a lot.
Hopes for 2019:
I hope we get cereal again in our house (haha we banned cereal from our home about 4 months ago and the kids are rioting). I also hope for other people to have a great year.
On December….the good stuff
December can be a bit of a mine field for this family so today I choose to look at some bright spots…..what’s going well, what we’re looking forward to, etc.
Traditions are always a fun way to look back at past years, remember funny and good times and document year in and year out of doing the same thing. We went and found our tree on a beautiful sunny day and relaxed afterward with decorating and Christmas movies.
Kittens plus Christmas – is there anything cuter????
This year, Scott’s family did a big “Grinch-themed” Christmas party….I was so impressed with my MIL’s themed tree and so much other amazing decor around the house. What a festive start to December!!!
BraveGIRL is finding her groove and comfort with our extended families and really becoming a big hit with some younger tribe members. This little man pretty much fell in love and per usual, BG is amazing with littles.
This year, we have two trees in our home!!! This flocked tree was my favorite Black Friday purchase and I love the light and vibe it adds to our upstairs space. Since my early morning quiet times take place in the chair opposite this tree, I love it during the recent month of dark mornings….it will be hard to take it down after the holiday season, that’s for sure!!!
Each year, we typically do some sort of countdown that includes service projects and focusing on others. This year, I found this amazing cute storybook/set called The Giving Manger and have loved it so far…..every time a family member completes an act of serving another, they get to place a piece of straw in the manger. When it’s filled with joy and giving, it’s ready for the baby Jesus and Christmas….even though we shouldn’t need a “gimmick” to focus on serving others, it’s been a great conversation piece each night at family dinners and I love challenging the kiddos to go off each and day and look for ways to serve versus receive. Also, their instagram feed and stories are my favorite to look at each day if you want some amazing ideas for kiddos and serving.
Looking forward to:
– our first Christmas morning in this house!
– a slow Christmas break and days in our happy jams
– Christmas Eve service together!
– uncles and future aunts coming to stay with us
– snow and sledding day at Baker
– kiddos in new cute clothes (I am anticipating this way more than them obviously)
– Christmas Eve scavenger hunt for present
On complaining
A few different messages in the form of this excerpt from my morning reading and a video I saw at a recent training has me thinking about complaining. And although I don’t think of myself as a “complainer”, I do hope to be mindful and intentional this month about staying positive and looking for strengths and wins over dwelling on the negatives and failures.
I love this spoken word video (warning – swear word included) and hope you can gain some perspective from it as well. Although it diminishes some very real suffering many are going through, I think it also highlights a gratitude for being alive and in community, no matter what our circumstances.
On Instant Family – ours and the movie
In full disclosure, I was going into this movie expecting to pull a few scenes of comparison to our story of fostering our Wonders to document here on this blog. And then the few scenes became 10….and then the ending was so closely related to ours…..that it rocked my core, had my entire crew in sobbing, loud tears, and would be impossible to sum up in one blog post. This movie did an amazing job of documenting the trauma, grief and hilariously ridiculous journey that is fostering both the little and not-so little kiddos in need of families. Both Scott and I commented on how we knew where the actual foster parents were sitting because their laughter was a little louder, laced with a little pain, and came at parts that other members of the audience weren’t sure if they were “allowed” to laugh at such a scene.
We decided to bring our “instant” kiddos along to see this movie….knowing there was swear words and knowing it might bring up some trauma for them. As usual, I don’t shy away from these opportunities in movies….I think the bringing up of emotions and processing that can happen afterward is very powerful and seeing their story depicted accurately on a movie scene can be normalizing and healing in a way.
The part that was hardest to watch and hardest for our kiddos was where the poor trio of kiddos were anticipating going back with their biological mother towards the end of the movie….and instead got a social worker showing up to say that biological mother had disappeared. The grief and abandonment was so raw, EVEN though the new loving family was there and ready to swoop in. This scene was our exact story towards the end of our fostering journey heading toward adoption and WonderGIRL and BOY still process how hurt and angry she is that her biological mother didn’t “show up to court to fight for them.”
If you are a foster parent, or you have foster parents in your tribe, please go see this movie. Sometimes it is hard for us to talk through all of the pain and chaos that is happening in our house, because we want to protect the childrens’ stories and keep their pain contained. But the compassion fatigue, confusion over triggers, system brokenness, and other perils are amazingly showcased in this movie and could give you some perspective and a little “day in the life” view of life in the foster system.
Have you seen this yet??? HIGHLY recommend (obviously). Once you see it, remember you can’t unsee it….and there are a million ways you can support foster families and children in our area especially coming up on the holiday season….reach out and ask if you’re willing and wanting to learn more!!!
My kind of holiday…
As most people know, I’m not the most comfortable working my way around a big holiday meal or (even a small meal) in our kitchen. Since Scott was on shift on Thanksgiving, I decided to take on a turkey in order to give my family some resemblance of traditional food. However, as the day ended and the timeline didn’t work out much…..
4:30pm – stuffing/mashed potatoes done and demolished
5:00pm – pumpkin pie…..we couldn’t wait any longer!
7:30 – the turkey was finally done……and no one was hungry anymore to eat it. Sad face.
And although NONE of those domestic markers of superiority worked out…..a lot of other things did work out that day which mean way more to me than what my kiddos eat for dinner on this specific Thursday in November.
I volunteered to help serve a community meal in Ferndale earlier Thursday and brought all three kiddos along….they served without any complaining and joyous personalities, even when some of their “customers” weren’t the nicest. I loved seeing everyone love on them and watching their smiles brighten days just like they brighten mine. I also loved their commentary afterward, knowing that serving others has the BIGGEST impact on ourselves….in hopes these feelings and act of service continue on their own choosing.
Throughout the day, we got to see lots of friends both big and small swing by our house for short little visits. Loved spending chunks of the day with both our biological and chosen family….from 6:20 in the morning to 12:30 at night, we had visitors along for our holiday activities (yes watching Hallmark romance movies is a traditional Thanksgiving activity in my book). Ending the day with a soulmate visit with her loving on my kiddos (and kitten) was the best….made my heart so happy falling asleep that evening.
Now it’s on to Christmas decorations…..so excited to fill our home with holiday joy and lights and trees for our cats to destroy. And I will sacrifice my time in the kitchen to sit down and have a beverage or two with you and let Scott take care of the cooking for all of our sakes!!!