Welcome July….

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The month we get to slow down….finally!!!! With WonderBOY at camp all week, me and my hubby literally got done all the projects we (okay just me telling him what to do) around the house today. I love what a quick change up does to a room with simply moving furniture or adding a shelf!(Treasury of Memories friends – what do these remind you of????)

My favorite piece was this rustic pallet I snagged off someone’s FB house sale….we needed a little something in our bathroom and this was perfect.(plug for this local shop Tether(ed) – I get so many compliments on these little pretties)

What’s on your list for home projects this Summer???

On becoming the Alfred….

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A few weeks ago in church, our pastor spoke about the importance of Alfred to Batman’s superhero status and conquests. Behind the man who was saving the world was someone that unconditionally cared for him, created tools and strategies necessary for his work, and always provided a safe haven for him in times of trouble. The pastor said, “sometimes we are Batman and sometimes we are Alfred.”

This particularly resonated with me as I transition into a new support role in the next school year. Leaving my student-centered, school-centered post as a school counselor and leaning into the position as the Social-Emotional Learning Coordinator for our district. I am so excited to support the whole child in our community, focusing not just on academics but a child’s entire being of what makes them HUMAN and connected to others. I am SUPER excited about supporting the amazing team of school counselors, teachers and support staff (the BATMANs of the world in my humble and very biased opinion) and can’t wait to promote what they do and create some synergy for even more awesomeness heading forward.

And I am nervous and grieving a bit….I am kinda obsessed with my job and with working with children at the elementary level. I love playing jenga and candyland to teach social skills, leading small groups teaching children coping skills amidst a death or a divorce in their life, and teaching classes that teach ALL children the skills they will need for life and family and friendships in the future. I love my “Hoelzle hugs”, wearing super shoes and Meow Monday cat ears, and practicing flying with Mr. Grit. I will truly miss that “in the trenches” work and will return to it once I feel like the purpose and direction for this new position has played out successfully.

I am also extremely grateful. As I process this new position, I realize once again that God put this directly in the middle of my path knowing that this year has been such a struggle. When I devote 100% of myself and my energy to 500 students day in and day out, many of whom struggle with trauma and attachment issues themselves, I am drained and not fully present at home when I have three struggling in my very own home. I have found myself less patient, less compassionate, and less willing to use the very same skills I used an hour earlier to my students. And that’s not fair and I hope a break from this intensive work will boost the love, attachment and healing in my home in ways I can’t even imagine.

So whether or not you are a Batman or an Alfred – please know we need BOTH of you to save our world each day, each school year, each season of life. The work is never finished…..

What I want to remember….

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about my sweet, lovable WonderBOY….we are having a rough go with him, his emerging hormones, and his anger right now. So this weekend in between the door slams and the verbal attacks, I really tried to focus on the true him and what I see from his heart and his true self coming out as he grows older.

Here are a few slices of cuteness I captured:His amazing chess skills and how this game has produced some academic and social outcomes we are so proud of (also this Mario chess board is the coolest).He is still very much interested in the restaurant business. This week, he is setting the stage for a different style restaurant each night. Tonight was fancy (even Rexie got in on the action) with his restaurant named “Da Da Daaaaa!” complete with placemats, candles, and upbeat Disney tunes.He found a butterfly barely moving at the archery range this afternoon and wanted to “save him” and has been tending to “Flappy” all night long. The poor thing is still barely moving (if really at all) so we’ll see how this little adventure plays out.

As I say to him each and every night, I am so lucky to be his mama. To which he usually replies, “I am so lucky to be your mama…..oops I mean your boy.”

On direct sales….

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And why I kinda love them. Direct sales and Momboss memes are popping up everywhere and it certainly is “on trend” right now to be hosting classes/parties and selling direct to consumers.

However, I love this way of commerce because it gets to something that retail stores don’t…..and that is CONNECTION. Through classes and parties we are face to face, sharing struggles and hopes for our families and expanding our network in ways we didn’t have access to before. It combines the therapeutic properties of retail shopping with our basic human need to bond and connect with others = a match made in heaven.

And for some products (essential oils in particular), it takes a lot of time to educate customers on what it is they are using in their homes and all of the benefits and potential risks. I don’t want someone buying an oil from a shelf and then never have anyone teach them how to use it safely and effectively.

So to all you mama-preneurs out there…..keep selling all the things, inviting to those events, posting on social media. You are impacting your family with some extra income AND getting awesome products into the rest of our homes and families.

What could an extra $200-$500 per month do for YOUR family???? I’d love to share what I do to pay for my oils and my nail habit, make money toward family vacations like our cruise…..and how it might look for you too if you’re interested!

Pictured below: a realistic snapshot into my earnings…..Some peeps only share their income but we tend to spend a lot too. ? Also important to remember….I’m 3 years in, have a full time job, AND have an awesome team that has helped me reach this point each step along the way.Pictured above: a screenshot from an excited mama….all she did was host a class, invite some friends and voila! a check was on its way to her…..love that surprise and excitement just for leaving her comfort zone and hosting a class!

We’re doing an awesome low-pressure experiment for having classes this summer on our team to see what it can do for our monthly earnings….if you want to join, message me! If you want to host a class (we come teach….you just open your house and throw a few beverages on the table) you can earn some free goodies as well!!!

On being the nurturing enemy….

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These words. A title for a role I am still working to understand. A role I’m not sure I want on the worst of days. And a role that was gifted to me, I accepted and now am working to grow into…..one day, one trigger, one kiddo at a time. We are battling big time with love and trust with our WonderGirl…..at this teenage crossroads, will she lean in or push us away? Let us protect her or forge out on her own?

In many ways, we are parenting a 3 year old. Someone who knows we are the mom and dad and knows we are safe but still needs to test the boundaries of their independence and new skills. How far away can I stray and those people over there will still be there when I return? And then you add in hormones, same-age peer comparisons and a complete lack of working memory…..and our battles can be exhausting.

So when I come across an article that literally makes me have my own fight, flight or freeze response with complete acknowledgement of all my insides….I just felt compelled to share. For other trauma mamas of course and for our tribes to get some perspective….not for pity but just for grace and understanding. Which is all we really want anyway…..

The most realistic quote I have come across in my years of the foster/adopt world:
“In many ways, the primary caregiver who steps in to parent, raise, and care for a child whose trust has been previously broken is often approached as the nurturing enemy. I have no words to describe how devastating and utterly depressing this reality is. It’s a mixture of hopeless and helpless, with an extra-large side of carnal frustration and a daily sprinkling a Divine Grace that is only ever enough to help you persevere through whatever current challenge is before you.”

Read the full article here.

My sweet WG is amazing in so many ways and I don’t want to take that away from her. She is loving, nurturing to others, a bundle of joy, and the list goes on and on. Many who meet her probably are baffled at my stories based on her behavior in public and social settings. And I am okay with the sometimes divergent path of this parenting journey with her…..it’s part of what we were called to do. And it’s also extremely helpful when others understand the struggle and come alongside us as we set boundaries for her and place expectations and restraints that might be against what THEY view as her needs or us being too harsh to a “normal teenage girl.”

And to all the other “nurturing enemies” reading this, I see you, I feel you, I know we stay in and isolate ourselves to of protection……so please come over for a glass of wine or coffee (or both) sometime. Swear words, slammed doors, and the potential of violence may be an added bonus to your beverage but so will empathy, compassion, and a whole lot of connection too.

 

On Mother’s Day….

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Today we pray for staying present, being grateful, and healing.

Here is our story…..one teenage girl whose mother was stolen from her. Another’s who abandoned her. And one confused 10 year old boy who can’t even remember what his mother looks like because he was told a different woman was actually his mother. The complication is deep, the wounds are real, and my place in their lives is truly an honor (and at times oh so exhausting to be avoiding these triggers). What you don’t see erased and written over in my Mother’s Day card: Will you please let me see my real mom???? At school this week while his classmates (some….lots of our kiddos have trauma) are simply writing a card to a mom that they have done for 9 years before, he is confused and struggling and wishing perhaps things were different for him. That someone didn’t love him and guessing at reasons why…..

So today….we heal from the week of physical attacks and emotional ones too. And we spend a sunny day together and feel what a new feeling of family feels like…..one that doesn’t leave. We practice being fully present and we love fully.

To all of you readers out there with equally complicated mom stories….whether it’s your mom or perhaps you may be struggling with a burning desire to be a mom, I pray you get to be present and surrounded by your tribe today rooted in love and compassion. And if anyone is interested, we’ll be drinking wine and enjoying the sun at Vartanyan winery today after lunch – feel free to join us!

In Bloom….giveaway!!!

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Giveaway time!!!!

I have been madly cleaning my oil and office spaces and found some “extras” of a few things that I would love to give away – especially in the week of loving mamas, nurses, and teachers – what could be better than free stuff????

Comment below or on the FB post to be entered into the drawing for a copy of Kayla Aimee’s new book In Bloom, a heartfelt and hilarious narrative about insecurities and how to find the unique confidence for a unique you. A few quotes I loved from the book:
“I thought I needed a clean slate and a fresh start so that I could rebuild myself from the ground up in order to ever make a difference in the world. What I found instead was that when I was unencumbered by the negative thoughts that I assumed people were having about me, I was free to delve into my gifts.”

“Friendship happens when someone risks to start a conversation.” (PS why is this so scary these days??? All these wonderful women ready for friendship and many of us are too scared to walk up and saw hello, I see you, Mama-ing is hard, etc.)

“Butterflies don’t burrow back into their cocoons; they emerge and they go and be. I would venture to guess that they doubt first. I bet they crawl out of that split-open chrysalis and feel tentative about trusting the weight of their old bodies to their new feather-light wings. But at some point they step off into the air and they take flight on trust of an invisible wind. They are like us, a new creation, and they believe in what they cannot see to keep them soaring.”

Looking forward to passing 3 copies of this on to you guys!!! Drawing will take place on Mother’s Day evening (as I bask in the day of my kiddos not driving me absolutely bonkers and being showered with love and pampering and quiet…..or in reality, after they all go to bed after tantrums about teeth brushing and tears about having to go to school the next day or wanting to stay up later – Mom life on Mom’s day is so much work!!!)

Mindy Maes sale!!!!

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My favorite doublehoods. Size up (I wear their XL if that’s helpful). Sale sale sale today!!!!!

we’re ready, are you?!

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY… IT’S ALL IN THE DETAILS…

The first 1,000 orders will receive a 25% off coupon code to use on any future order.

The next 1,000 orders will receive a 20% off coupon code to use on any future order.

Then, 10 random orders EVERY hour will be selected to be totally refunded –

so those lucky winners get their order for FREE!

Here are the details:

(read them, it’s all important)

TUESDAY : MAY 8TH 

The site will be shut down from 8:45am (MST) until launching at 10 am (MST)! 

(We gotta get those markdowns in for ya!)

Sale will launch May 8th @ 10 am (MST) & will run until May 8th @ 10 pm (MST)

…

Don’t forget all this really important stuff:

• Items do NOT hold in your cart & are very limited, if you’re 100% in love with something check-out quick then go back for more! (shipping is FREE, so no biggie!)

• We cannot adjust, combine, cancel, or add to existing orders once the order has been placed, as we start shipping immediately. So, please double check your order (size, color, address, etc).

• We will not be price adjusting any items purchased prior to the sale.

• We will not be restocking any items during the sale, everything available will be listed.

• Please refer to the item sizing guidelines and model’s sizing on the site when choosing a size.

• Orders will still (and always) ship FREE! (US only) (Canada ships FREE over $100)

• We will ship in the order received, but please allow 7-10 day shipping time frame (unless otherwise noted on a listing – such as a PreOrder item) just in case!

• Most items we are unable to receive anymore of, we got the last of what they had… so, get it now!

• Due to the deep discounts, ALL items during this sale are FINAL SALE! (again, double check your order – no exceptions will be made! no returns. no exchanges.)

• Sale will run from 10:00 am (MST) May 8th to 10:00 pm May 8th (MST).

• Discount codes will NOT be active during this sale.

• Oh, and don’t forget… ALL SALES FINAL. (no returns OR exchanges)

P.S. Items often sell out crazy fast – If your coveted items are sold out, don’t fret. We are already working on more New Releases (yay!).

Lots more goodies are coming your way!

CLICK HERE TO SHOP!!! Sale starts at 9am this morning……

Sparked in April….

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Sometimes…..the plans with the best of intentions don’t happen….and then I start feeling a bit of shame and embarrassment because I actually wrote about it on the blog and at least 5 people read it and then I never reached out to actually follow through thus sparking more shame and embarrassment (such an ugly cycle us women put ourselves through am I right?!?!?).

But they CAN plant seeds for future growth and that’s about how my big goal of social outings in March spilled into April. I survived March with a crazy work schedule and Scott and WG heading off to Haiti (a bigger post from her perspective is in the works) and then got to see lots of lovely ladies in April for some much-needed Mama self-care, we-care time.(love these women…..and the sweet birthday girl in the middle)And throughout multiple fun opportunities to hang out with women, walk through craft fairs with women, host fun parties with women…..it reminds me over and over how important that community is. Learning their perspectives on things I inwardly struggle with helps me process and have grace. Their ideas around parenting and marriage sparks changes in my heart and home. Empathy and grace can’t happen if you have no one there receiving it and giving it right back…..and I have more of those two things to give besides pouring it all over my kiddos and hubby (plus I need a whole lot of it in return).

I recently read and explored the Strengthsfinder 2.0 book which includes a code to analyze your own strengths. I loved this (again….reminds me of Seventeen quizzes that I LIVED for in the 90’s…..pretty sure it set the stage for my passion in psychology/counseling) and have been trying to match my strengths with work endeavors and even some relationship changes as well. You don’t have to buy the book to take the quiz either (I think it’s $19.99 for a description of your top 5….lots of info!). Have you taken this quiz? I would love to hear your strengths!!!

I am also interested in what other busy mamas do for self-care AND if it might be kinda cool to have some intentional events around self-care…..if you are interested in this topic, click this link to take a quick survey describing what that might look like for you. For one, I am just kinda interested in what everyone thinks and for two, my strategic strength is pushing me to be more intentional and group-minded with this whole concept so I want others feedback before I do!!

Happy May to all of you readers…..MAY it be filled with lots of grace, empathy, together-ness, and SUNSHINE!!!!

(My May SPARK goal is under wraps as of now…..protecting myself from the whole shame cycle highlighted above…..actually maybe my goal should be not having shame around silly things…..hmmmmmm)

MAY I come to a class?!?!

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Shameless side gig warning…..here are some fun opportunities to hang out in May!

Girls Night In fundraiser at Amy’s house – May 11th. Come pamper yourself and raise money for Operation Underground Railroad (helping victims of sex trafficking) AND hang out with some pretty awesome women while you’re at it.

Come join me at my house this Sunday to make some awesome rollers to help the teachers in your life stay healthy, happy and energized! Perfect for teacher appreciation week coming up next week!!!! Message me for details on the class…..

Also I have a fun promotion where you pick the date to host a class and get an extra prize hidden behind the post-it’s on my calendar. It could be an intro to oils class, a gel nail party, or a fun make and take party (rollerballs, cleaning products, spa fun, etc) for you and your friends.

Edited to add: May 25th was just snagged!