WonderBOY is 10!!!!

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I have a lot of mixed emotions about this cuddly little love turning two whole hands today…..so I’ll just leave these cute flashback pics to his first birthday with us and his most recent. I got to attend a conference at Great Wolf Lodge for the past two days which meant a very special solo trip with me and Dad to play all day and night to honor his special day. This last picture is so incredibly forced but also does he not look like a full fledged teenager?!?!? (Full bribing to get his dippin dots here – no shame)

To my boobaloo forever – you light up my world and I am so lucky to be your mama. I’ll eat you up I love you so….let the wild rumpus start. Guess what? I love you. Guess what else? I love you more. Guess what else? I love you the most.

On the Miracle Season…

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Obviously seeing this movie was a no-brainer for me. Actual competitive volleyball featured in a movie? And not just about catty girls that hate each other? Sign me up!!! I was sad to see it without my team (they’re going tomorrow as a team bonding event) but my kiddos obliged to tag along and check it out.Helen Hunt did an amazing job showing both the angst and the joys of coaching young female athletes. Pushing females to be competitive beasts while loving the heck out of them can be a hard job sometimes….and obviously so worth it. The tears flowed for me (and the whole theatre from the sound of all the sniffles) as a player died in the film….which brought back a flood of memories for me from walking/stumbling my team through some extremely tough days when a teammate and the most joyful young human to ever grace the earth, Chelsey Ray, died from cancer almost 10 years ago.
Even down to t-shirts that honored the player, our story had so many similar strands. These t-shirts were and still remain very special to me. I had Chelsey actually stamp her hands on the back of each one – a metaphor for her literally having our backs both on the court and off. Mine has only been washed 2 times to this day, because any piece of touching her amazingness is priceless to me.And just like in the movie, I think my greatest impact as a coach was helping the teammates through the tragedy with all the questions and all the pain….I loved talking with them, praying with them, honoring their friend and memories, and just covering them in love and grace. That’s what teams are for…..Having a young, shiny teenager ask you to speak at her own funeral was one of the most humbling events in my life to this date…..it was at the “chemo date” pictured above where that happened, I still vividly remember the giggles, inside jokes, and other nonsense she asked me to include. I’m so glad that I scrapbooked during this time to remember the small moments, the conversations, the haircut where I held her hand in front of our community, her joy and her faith…..all things that inspire me to lead young people, especially young athletes to their own greatness in life.

Many people don’t know this, but prior to receiving the head coaching gig at FHS, I had firm plans to move down to Vancouver, Washington to start my counseling career down there. Chelsey’s impact on my life and the love and family feel of my hometown during this time changed my mind and my course forever…..and for that and to her, I am so incredibly grateful.

BraveGIRL stays a while….

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As many of you know, a sweet friend of WonderGIRL’s came to live with us on a short-term basis in August and has been a lovely addition to our family. She is 15 and has a heart of gold that we have loved discovering over time. Through some family decision team meetings, it has been decided that BraveGIRL is going to stay with us long term. We hope to set her up for a successful transition to adulthood with some firm boundaries and a whole lot of daily lessons on family, relationships, and healthy decision-making. Also as usual on this blog, her story is her story and I won’t be sharing the story of what brought her to us publicly. Her trauma is big…..but my belief in her and her future is even bigger – which sums up about every single being in this house so she fits in quite nicely!!!!

This transition has included some bumpy roads for our other two Wonders as they navigate what it feels like to share their forever parents’ love and attention. Even though WG and WB are older, I imagine these are typical feelings from a 2 year old toddler with a newborn sibling…..feeling a disruption in the family make-up they once knew to be the end of the world. Rexie has already fallen in love with her, as evident in the quick dashes inside her bedroom as soon as the door opens and lots of snuggles in her lap.

Someone asked me the other night how many children Scott and I plan on bringing into our family….and the answer still remains the same and as simply complicated as ever – “however many God decides to give us.” We are still a licensed foster family and may start to take new placements this summer…..but are also open to considering an international adoption as well. Thank you to our ever expanding fan club for your prayers and support as our family size and structure ebbs and flows both physically and emotionally – we truly couldn’t be staying afloat without you.

 

WonderBOY’s life update

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Hey buddy…..what would you like to blog about today?
I want to talk about my pizza place It’s called Pizza Fresh (originally Pizza Good). You order and then it will be ready in about an hour…..well not an hour, that’s too long. A half hour. When you order, it will be ready. Then you can order your drink at either the bar or upfront. There’s going to be a ladder and counselors to watch your kids. If you want the kids to stay with you, you can, but the counselors do fun activities on the big playground outside. And there’s a thing for babies if you have a baby. There will be a watch for $15-$10 dollars for teenagers, there is a teenage section but if the teenager wants to go with the counselor it will be $20. It’s so much because they’re bigger and they won’t want to be there. If your child is lower than 5, they are free and 6-10 year olds are $5.

There is going to be lots of pizzas like cheese, pepperoni…..kind of like Coconut Kenny’s or Mod Pizza. But we make the pizza and you choose what toppings, we give the pizza out and we make sure it’s cool so you can eat it. We set it out on your pizza and then you get up and put the toppings on. And it’s open Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. It won’t be open on Wednesday and Saturday because my workers need breaks and there might be a lot of people going there every day so they’ll be tired. It will be open at 9 o’clock to 9 o’clock at night. If you ever want to work there, you’re going to have get there at 7am.

On soccer – 
We skipped a lot of practices because of the rain. It’s my first time playing this sport and so far, I think it’s good. My first game was good. We lost which is okay. I got hurt though in the stomach (it was somewhere else that I don’t want you to type). Mmmmmm…..I played defender with my friend Luca. My coach is nice. I know a person from basketball named Trey.

On Daddy and Sissy’s trip to Haiti – 
I miss Daddy and sis so much. But I call them every night. But I’m glad they are in Haiti because they help kids that are poor and it’s one of the poorest countries in the world. I feel bad for them so I’m mad at Daddy for going every year but he has to….well he doesn’t have to, he wants to because he does it to make sure kids are healthy. I like snuggling with Mom a lot but on the inside I’m yelling for Daddy.(I was home sick today and it was his early release so we got lots of couch/cuddle time today) – love this boy. He has had amazing behavior with Daddy being gone despite his big time anxiety with Daddy out of the country. My little man turns 10 in April – I can’t believe how big he is getting on the inside and out!

On my new find….

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As my daughter and husband are off in a third world country, helping hundreds of orphans, let me take a quick 1st world time out and talk about something important – my nails!!!!

Although I love a good pedicure, the manicure part of a nail salon is not for me. I’m uncomfortable and then I get mad at myself 20 minutes after I leave for chipping my nails that I paid good money for. My new favorite obsession (thanks to Tara!!!) is Gelmoment – a gel manicure system that is non-toxic and the fastest way to do nails. With this system, I can literally do my nails in less than 5 minutes and they’re set and ready to do anything – wash dishes, unbutton my pants (how I usually chip a fresh mani), you name it! Anyways, if you are into this kind of thing too you should totally come over and try it – I only have 5 colors right now but will be placing an order soon for more.

As many of you know, I love all things Momboss and direct sales – supporting people versus companies feels really awesome and it gets new products into my home that I’m excited about.
Also, the girls are totally into it as well. Wouldn’t it be cool if they could come to events with me and give $5 manicures to peeps while they learn about oils or hang out? I would pay $5 for a cute girl to do my nails any day…..just saying.

Some of you already know about gel moment and the starter kit with LED lamp and one polish is only $66 and totally worth it – if you want to add to my order this week, let me know!!!

WonderGIRL heads to Haiti

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My WonderGIRL is heading to her first missions trip to Haiti tonight…..I wanted to capture some of her thoughts and feelings here so she can reflect on them after she returns and years later to fully re-live her experience. Our house has been a minefield of emotions this past week as she sorts out different feelings of excitement, nervousness, and the fear of abandonment. She put it quite brilliantly to a family friend last night saying, “I am really excited to go on the trip, but I am super nervous to leave here.” This tension is heartbreaking but what I do feel confident in when sending her off is the ability for this challenge and experience to help her grow, not only in giving back to others but in growing confident away from our house and me in particular.I am excited about:
– seeing all these kids
– hand out lollipops to kids and see smiles on their face…..I like seeing kids smile and then it makes me smile
– they get healthier because we have medicines and doctors to make them feel better

I am nervous about:
– potentially getting sick
– messing up in giving medications that I might give someone the wrong thing
– seeing things that might scare me (destruction or sick/dying people)
– wanting to give the kids everything but I can’t do that
– Mom forgetting me at home while I’m gone
– leaving the house for that long of period

I wonder about:
– How does the food taste?
– Why are some people super poor?
– Why are the stores so expensive can’t get what they need?
– How people in Haiti look at God…..is their God the same God that we worship? How is he/she different?

I predict some changes when I return:
– better behaviors at home
– respecting what I already have (sometimes when I feel like I don’t have enough or I want more…..to know I have a lot more than other kids)

Prayers for both of them and the children and families they are about to touch in Haiti greatly appreciated!!!!

Some nuggets of truth…

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I have been soaking up professional development in this last month….but conferences can be hard when there is so much information and not enough time to “download” and process it all. These two gems stuck with me once I returned home so in hopes to ground them in writing somewhere, I want to document them here and maybe pass on the inspiration to you as well! I got to listen to an entire day from two wonderful presenters around mindfulness with children (and adults) and both of these quotes came from that day.Although it sounds so counter-intuitive, when tragedy strikes (a person, a family or a nation), sometimes it is a cry out for change or an awareness rises out of the tragedy that can advocate for a person or people in a new way. Right now with the school violence as a hot topic, we are talking about what needs to change for increased safety in school. This is obviously important to me in my work…..I still hold steady to a belief that more school counselors having chances to dig deeper with all students AND teach proactive coping skills/mental health prevention to all students really is the answer. So the gift for me of he recent tragedy is that others are speaking up and advocating for a smilier belief to mine which hasn’t always been the case (especially when sometimes the counselor is pitted against smaller class sizes which is a hard case to make for administration).

And on a personal note, my own Wonders’ tragedy brought them on a broken road to us as their parents and that really is one of the most amazing gifts that has ever been given me. We use this language a lot with all of our kiddos, because it can be so hard to rationalize the “why” of trauma and things being done to you as a child, but a greater plan and purpose for them is there and we must communicate that to them over and over.My new favorite quote EVER….like in the history of ever!!!

With what we know about burn out, compassion fatigue, secondary trauma and the effect of childhood trauma on our actual medical life outcomes….this is HUGE!! I feel like self-care has alway been thought of as a fuzzy term just held sacred for the uppity ups of our world….but small moments of self-care can be hugely impactful to anyone’s day. Whether it’s some quiet moments of calm in the morning or in the midst of you work day, some power poses before bed, or just making conscious efforts to meet up with your loved ones – self-care can not be an option. It is a requirement, just like exercise, to cope with our increasingly pressurized and stress-filled world.

P.S. I realize that my blog has been overloaded with lots of “deep” as of late…..apparently the thoughtful me has been dominating!!! I need to get these cute kiddos of mine on here with an update and some kid quotes ASAP……stay tuned!!!

Sparking self-care….

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For my February commitment to my One Little Word for 2018, I wanted to focus on self-care. Meaning the way I take care of my own self, both physically and emotionally, so that I can continue to care for others fully and enthusiastically. Sidenote: it is rare to describe an adult as enthusiastic…..typically it’s used as a negative as if that said enthusiasm is annoying or overbearing….I personally think more enthusiastic adults would create more enthusiastic children these days.

It felt good to increase the amount of time I spent committing to self-care:
– getting up earlier and having quiet time to read/meditate/stretch/enjoy my coffee (loved The Miracle Morning – thanks Holly)
– writing more….both in my planner (unloading my ideas) and on my blog (short month = best ratio of days to posts since I started)
– less social media, more playtime with the kiddos

– more learning….I flipping love professional conferences. My district has been amazingly generous in sparking my professional growth this year and I have loved being around brilliance in my field and soaking up ideas that then generate more ideas that then generate more ENTHUSIASM for my chosen role and passion in schools (plus I REALLY like my new cohort of strong, passionate counselors I get to work with)

Up next for March? Meet ups – I want to see more people, drink more coffee (or wine) and connect with others, I want things on the calendar so I commit to friends and family before appointments that can be changed and moved…..update coming later this month on how this all goes (seeing as how I just made it up on the spot right now).

On the power of chess….

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My little man has always been into board games and learning how to play chess came very easily for him. What a great chance to learn patience, problem solving, and thinking through moves before we make them (all traits we are furiously working on in life with our wonders day in and day out). Especially for kids with trauma, these pathways in his brain (overriding “fight or flight” with “stop, breathe, think”) need to be reinforced over and over again and chess is a great vehicle to make that happen! He joined an after school chess club this year and we’ve seen some amazing improvements in his schoolwork, attention and general temperament since he started.They have all-day chess tournaments around the county (who knew???) so we got to partake in one at FHS last week and it was such a fun and relaxing day supporting him (and running into old friends – bonus!!!!). I am really grateful WonderBOY has found something other than sports he can devote some time and energy into to become the well-rounded man I wish for him to be!My friend Anna sent me this great article highlighting the benefits of this great game that I thought I would pass along to you too. Click here to read!