On my favorite doublehoods…..

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Anyone that knows me knows I love my hoodie sweatshirts. I especially love the new doublehood trend but have had a hard time finding ones that fit me (ahem….Apricot Lane in the mall carrying nothing bigger than a large…..boooooo). 

Enter a shopping site called Mindy Maes Market (thank you Katelin) and I’ve already scored three!!!! They have a ton of sizes (I order an X-large for reference) and I always get a Ton of compliments/questions when I wear mine. They also have super cute florals and other clothes. Back to school shopping anyone??? Please use this shopping link when shopping (I get a little perk back for sharing…..which I still would share even if it wasn’t benefitting me because I llllloooovvvveeeee them so so much). 

Oils for athletes (and the coaches that love them)

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Whenever I’m coaching, my girls are constantly asking for various oils to help them be at their best for competition. When I was at team camp last week, I talked to a few different coaches about what we use so I thought I would share for other sport coaches or sport mamas out there. Here are the products that I feel are essential in our gym and for my volleyball players and athletes. I love that I can keep everything in a small bag with me to address a variety of needs each and every day both for girls just handling adolescence but also for common physical complaints that come from the sport or any athletic endeavor.

Deep Blue – a natural icy hot type lotion that my girls use for sore muscles. I love rubbing on my shoulders and feet after long practices or a tournament.

Correct X – a healing ointment that has some major healing oils in but is only $12! This tube is awesome for floor burns from playing defense but is also great for chapped or dry lips.

Clary calm – useful for women DAILY but especially helpful during monthly cycles to help alleviate pain from cramps and emotional support.

Past Tense – addresses headache pain and any tension – teens and the ppl that care for them never have that right?!?! (I also have them rub this on their stomachs if they are experiencing cramps and it seems to help).

MitoMax2 – a natural energy supplement that my players take a half hour before a game or midway during a tournament to keep their energy up and get a boost of “pump up” before a big game. I also take it before games as it helps me stay focused.

Peppermint – did you know that one drop of peppermint in your water has been shown to increase your athletic performance by up to 50% (research done on runners)? It also helps alleviate nausea or just to keep your water tasting colder during your game or tournament.

If you want any of these, just let me know and I can put them on my order for a little discount or you can just try out a sample and see if you like it…..if you want your own account, we can meet up and I’ll tell you how (similar to Costco….sign up, get cheaper prices…..you never have to host a class or “sell it” to others).

**Edited Tuesday night – today’s Buy One Get One deal (that I’m spamming all my FB friends with) is to buy a peppermint ($20.50 wholesale) and get the Past Tense for free – it’s like they knew I wrote this post!!!!! Anyway, if you want to try it just message me and I’ll pick one up for you!!!!**

On kiddos who feel BIG

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I have talked to lots of parents throughout my years as a school counselor and just mama-to-mama talks about how to help children regulate their emotions. Many times it can feel like you are just along for the ride as they navigate life’s highs and lows (that probably in your opinion shouldn’t even have been a feeling at all) in BIG ways and if being honest, usually in public….with eyes watching….judging……and your cheeks turning red……

I thought I would share some of the tips and tricks I pass along to those parents in order to help their child LEARN how to regulate their own emotions (versus the parents stepping in and doing it for them). I, myself, have one kiddo that feels big feelings on a daily basis and another who is pretty numb and doesn’t show any feelings. And if given the choice, between the two, I would 100% choose the big feelings because these reactions and strategies to regulate them are easily taught and remembered.

Always remember that all feelings are OKAY, but some reactions to feelings are NOT OKAY. When we tell children to NOT feel something, this is suppressing a very real physical reaction in their body and in adulthood, this suppression of feelings can result in lower skills in problem solving and denial of problems that need help/mental health support.

  1. Rate the problem. (NOTE: this does not say “name the problem” – it doesn’t always matter WHAT actually happened, but we can just help the child REACT to the problem).

    Parent: “What size problem is this? Small, medium or big? (for an older child/teen you can have them rate it 1-10)
    ** Don’t disagree with the child’s rating but if you don’t agree, you can say “Okay….I probably would say small but let’s go with ________.**
    If the child says small, I would say “Okay sounds like you can handle that one on your own and move on.”
    If the child says medium or big, I would say “What can we do to turn it into a small or medium problem?”
    (You could teach these beforehand or give a few examples like….take a deep breath and move on, apologize, use calm words to tell the other child ________, etc.)

    This can help the child learn that not all problems are HUGE and that they are in control of choosing how they react.

  2. Choice or choice.
    If you child has a hard time hearing the word no, try to increase the amount of control they “perceive” to have by giving them two choices that are BOTH acceptable to you as the parent. This is especially helpful during transition times or schedule changes.

    Child: “I don’t want to go to bed.”
    Parent: “You can either go to bed now and I’ll turn off your lights or you can choose a book to read for 5 minutes and then turn the lights off yourself.”

    Many times, we are trying to make our children OBEY when the extra 1-2 minutes or extra 1-2 chips at lunch doesn’t matter in the big picture. Children need to know they have control and choices and can make compromises with other people as problem solvers.

  3. Give them time to regulate before a disappointment.
    When a choice isn’t possible and a firm no is coming…..give your child some time to be ready and anticipate their own disappointment.

    Child: “Can I have extra game/screen time?
    Parent: “I’m about to tell you an answer you’re not going to like and it might make you mad. Are you ready for me to tell you?”
    If child says no, then say you’ll ask again in a minute.
    If child says yes, I would say “If you’re mad when I tell you the answer, that’s okay. What strategy can you use if you’re mad? (breathing, go to room, get a hug, etc.). Unfortunately, game time is done for the day but if you ask again respectfully tomorrow, I will add an extra 1-5 minutes onto your screen time.”

    **It’s important to reward a calm and respectful response, even if they are mad.**

If you are parenting a special kiddo with big feelings, I hope this helped you (there are lots more tricks I’ve learned along the way that I would love to share with you). But more importantly, I hope you appreciate that a child with big feelings also means they experience LIFE in a way that is exaggerated and colorful and AWESOME. For the low lows and the big tantrums, there is usually BIGTIME JOY and that is what being a kid is all about.

(check out this big time joy- WonderBOY and his Mickey Mouse pancake at our favorite Everson Cafe 544)

Insert chorus of any country song about a small town here….

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I always knew I loved my hometown and my childhood filled with neighborhood hide and go seek, walks down Vista to the drug store with my friends and the general small town “Friday Night Lights” vibe. There was no hesitation in the decision to move back here in February but the bonus perks and feels (beyond our new cozy home) have been pretty awesome to (re)discover.

This view of Mt Baker is something that I probably paid NO ATTENTION to as a child but as an adult, I am obsessed with it on a clear day. From our deck…..while I’m driving…..overlooking fields – it’s an amazing reminder of all of the natural beauty around us when we look up and take it all in. The other piece of Ferndale that I don’t know I ever paid attention to is the sound of the trains coming through town…..I have heard some people complain about the noise, but I find it extremely peaceful, especially at nighttime. I feel like both of these landmarks/staples of the town are anchors here keeping me grounded and appreciating on a daily basis where I have been (re)planted.One of the parts that I wasn’t sure about when moving back was running into people I knew when out and about – and I actually am rather enjoying this part of small town life!!! I also love that people can drop by our house to quickly exchange something or just to say hello (my dream – someone to stop by my house unannounced every single day and hang out on my deck with me…..ready GO). A few of my players have had to swing by or one of my many MOMBOSS friends delivering me whatever fabulous product I have gotten hooked on recently. Also, since both of my parents live so close, they get to stop by and see the kiddos whenever they want to!

Also….Maggies. Love it. And a new winery (Leaderblock???) I have yet to check out but it’s on my list TODAY.

I have already gotten a sneak peak of the time I will be saving by living here with our summer volleyball practices happening 2 minutes away at our high school….finishing practice and being home with time to spare before bedtime is magical!!! Getting to do some strength and conditioning with my girls down at the school, on my old track, and in the weight room is still part of my job, but brings back so many positive memories and feels that it truly feels like I’m volunteering for the pure love of it all.

P.S. They don’t do weight room max days anymore – wussies. P.P.S. My records are still on the weight room wall. P.P.P.S. My picture is up in the school and I pretty much look the same but with 100 gray hairs and WG is going to be so embarrassed every time she walks by and someone points it out to her – hahaha I love this part.

And last but not least, the one thing that has surprised me about moving here is getting excited to be planted somewhere permanently in a place where years ago, I found myself, my passion for children, and my lifelong friends…..and dreaming of that very same thing for WonderBOY and WonderGIRL as they meet a whole new crop of people this Fall. My wish for them is to find the same amount of kindness, leadership, and selflessness that my bests have inspired and poured into me for 20+ years (what what?!?!?!?) years now.

 

Moving on…..

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The end of this school year had some big transitions for our team…..as a follow up to one of my previous posts which caused some light concern by some of our tribe, here is our news. I was just hired by Ferndale School District for the following year to be a school counselor at Eagleridge Elementary…..after 8 years without school counselors, I am excited they have “seen the light” and value that elementary counselors can bring, especially with prevention and awareness of mental health concerns and general crises at that level. (When asked what Nooksack would be like without a school counselor, after the initial huge eyes and wide mouth awestruck expression, some answers included “CHAOS!”, “I’m pretty sure it would just burn down.” “The bullies would just run amok!!”). I get to work with some amazing new counselors and staffs at Ferndale AND my commute got a whole lot shorter, saving our family some general quality time at home versus in the car and on the road (5 minutes versus 40 minutes – when will I listen to all of my podcasts now?????).

This decision was not easy for me to make and already after a week with no students, I am missing them terribly. I ADORED my staff and my students and had a lot of support and leadership within my career at NV – making my mixed emotions big on the last couple of days of school. I got to sneak this epic school-wide selfie in (complete with our whole staff and parents in attendance that day).

This decision meant some heartache for WonderBOY as well since he will be no longer attending the only elementary school he has known. This was hard for him to leave his friends, beloved teacher and anticipate a new school in the Fall….so my Mama heart hurt knowing that my adult decision impacted his “felt safety.” We are both ready to take on this new challenge with all the feelings and anxieties along the way.

WonderGIRL completed middle school (all the applause and all the exhaustion here) and is off to HS in Ferndale as well (already part of the plan after we moved in February). Although this 8th grade year was a tough one for so many reasons with WG, she finished amazingly with her Breakout project on Foster Care. The amount of time, energy, and personal vulnerability she poured into this was awesome and she scored well (not surprising….she’s quite the charmer) on her final presentation!!! Here she is at their 8th grade celebration showing off her work.

Thank you for your prayers, support, hugs, and jelly bellies during this time where I personally struggled with crazy feelings of self-doubt, guilt, and anxiety – I truly feel like God is orchestrating this move in so many ways…..placing this amazing house in our path to be followed with job openings the very next school year. This simple decision of “saying yes” and doing that trust Fall into his plan has worked out for me time and time again along this winding journey of faith and personal growth and I am hopeful it will continue to do so this summer and beyond.

On our new addition…

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Meet Rexie Ralphie Hoelzle-Brown, the newest addition to our team and we are all quite smitten. We have been taking about getting a kitten for a while in hopes to teach our Wonders some more responsibility and to serve as a grounding and comfort object when big feelings and anxieties arise. He has done a wonderful job at both so far!!!

There are also so many parallels in caring for a pet and parenting that we love to point out to WB and WG when processing hard feelings or negative self-talk. Especially when WB loses his temper, his next reaction is remorse and shame in acting out aggressively or meanly. We use his own feelings and love for his kitten and how unconditional that is (even he scratches and bites you 1 million times, you still love him just the same) to show him how we feel about him each and every day.

Our doors are always open if you need a little kitten love and cuddling in your life – come on over and meet him (proof of his love through scratches and bite marks included free for all our visitors).

Intentional Summer 2k17

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We loved our intentional summer and daily schedule calendar so much last year that my wonders were super excited to fill it out this Memorial Day weekend for a fun annual summer kick-off tradition. Aside from the benefit of seeing a visual overview of our individual camps and family adventures (and when Daddy works), the daily schedule keeps us all accountable for the structure WB and WG crave. I, for one, want nothing to do with structure during my summers of rest and rejuvenation…..but in order to get that R&R, my kiddos need to be regulated. Win-win for all of us. I am sooooo looking forward to this summer season in our new house, enjoying our new surroundings and exploring a new side to the county during these beautiful PNW months. 

Want to get your own calendar? They are available for purchase from the brilliant Elizabeth McKinley here. Many friends asked about this last summer and I’m so excited she created some of others to purchase!!!!

on my “new lips”

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I have totally become smitten with the Lipsense products and have been experimenting with different lip colors at work. Usually I wear nothing to work so sometimes this “fancier” me is shocking to students. When I wear my favorite color (BELLA), students often notice and comment. The other day, my favorite compliment was “Mrs. Hoelzle I LLOOOOVVEEEE your new lips.” Hehe….yep, my lip transplant with a darker color really hit the mark with this 3rd grader.

I have never been a big fan of chapstick and really never thought it actually worked. This arsenal of products keeps my lips nice and soft and adds a little pop of color to a minimal makeup routine. Here is my run down of favorite products:
Elf Lip Exfoliator (got from Target): This is a lipstick made of all sorts of shmutza that help exfoliate your lips. I usually do this after the shower to keep all of the rough skin away.

Correct-X: This stuff is liquid gold (but only costs $12) with amazing oils like lavender, frankincense, and helichrysum I use this on my lips when dry and my cuticles too. It is similar to Neosporin but is all natural and in my opinion, works way faster.

Lipsense: I’m sure many of you know about this product but it’s lip color that stays on all day with natural ingredients, made in the USA, everything about it is awesome, etc. etc. etc. So far I only have Bella and Bravo but am looking for a more purple-y/wine-y color for my next purchase (like at my upcoming #momBOSS party coming up June 14th my house). I have been super impressed with these colors so far and I also enjoy supporting all these fun ladies selling it to make a little fun money on the side as well.