May what?!?!

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This month is seriously blowing by. We are on a serious summer countdown around here….closing down the school year and planning fun summer shenanigans is upon us! This weekend we get to write out our intentional summer plans….the kiddos love this visual of the adventures that await them.

Since there is only one week left, let me drop this quick image of an amazing deal you can still get for 6 more days. Get these freebie points while you can…..enroll with any kit over 100 and then $50 in products is yours for the taking! This particular mixture of products shown below are staples in our home (and in my volleyball gym). Message me and we’ll go from there to find a package perfect for you and the fam. 

Braces life hacks

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Have a teenager with braces in your life??? Here are a few “life with braces” hacks that have made my WonderGIRL not only manage her braces with ease but with minimal discomfort. Just in case this might help you too….here ya go!Life hack 1: The food stuck…..the floss is painfully tedious……the solution? The waterpik is an awesome tool to help lazy overly stressed teens get that food out of there and floss (PSA from my sis-in-law dental hygienist – dental floss is still WAY better but just in case, the pik is better than nothing). After the flossing though, there is always food bits stuck all over her sink. Soooo gross……

Hack #2: We got these cheap brushes at IKEA and keeping one by her sink encourages a quick wash every night versus hard scrubbing days after. Win-win!
Hack #3: After getting her braces tightened, the ensuing pain is always hard. For our little one, this pain can be extremely distracting during school and makes it even more of a negative impact. We did some research and used the clove essential oil to make a quick spray she can spray onto her gums/teeth to numb the pain. Deep blue on the outside of her jawline also helps ease this pain and discomfort. She can bring these tools with her to school also which helps with the distraction piece.I can’t believe how much her smile and face has changed as a result of her year in braces. She is going to look so much older when she gets them off in a few months!!!

Quotes I live by (Thursday)

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A tension to manage, not a problem to solve – unknown but whoever you are, you are an absolute GENIUS in my world/book

As many females and moms can relate to, we like to FIX problems. When something comes across our realm of reality that is uncomfortable, we tend to rally ourselves or our troops to help fix it. Also, as a counselor, I feel compelled to listen deeply, empathize and then HELP OTHERS do their own problem solving.

But some problems are not merely fixed with an easy one-stop, solution. Some problems may not be problems at all, but just constant tension that just needs to be managed or eased through certain actions. This quote plays in my head when feeling pressure to act or fix or cure, especially when there is a timeline attached (real or perceived)….and it lessens the pressure by just thinking about these negative stressors as something to be coped with on a lesser scale of action.

Some examples of these tensions that might not be “fix-able” in the short term that show up in my life on the regular:
– unease about my children’ future
– my children’s deficits in __________ (school, social skills, following directions)
– the balance of work and family life
– social media/technology dangers for young people
– trauma triggers at home from all members of my family
– a constant pull towards being creative, with a constant nag that something else is more important

Quotes I live by (Wednesday)

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You have to love your kids enough to make them hate you sometimes – my beloved Gramma, Audrey

I feel so blessed to have my Gramma in my life as an adult and now as a relatively new mama to older kiddos. She raised 7 kiddos, maintained a loving and beautiful marriage, and was the best party host I know (red cheeks from wine and everything – just like me!!!).

She actually said this quote to me when I was a young adult (like mid 20’s) when I got to play one of our many games of Scrabble together. I’m sure she was referencing perhaps a story I was working with as a new counselor or even a family outside of our own, but her words play in my brain and heart multiple times as I raise our wonders AND as I coach parents and families through struggles in my role as a school counselor.

Many people think children (especially children out of the foster system) just need love but what they need almost MORE than that love is BOUNDARIES. Someone to help them regulate their brains, their emotions and their bodies in a safe environment. I heard at a counseling conference that parenting always takes two hands – the hand of compassion AND the hand of restraint. Sometimes these boundaries look like a firm “no” but sometimes they look like allowing your child to struggle and to fail, in order for them to learn valuable lessons they will need as they move towards adulthood. And now as I parent myself, I understand why the parents I have worked with as a counselor struggle with this. When their pain is your pain, how can you sit back and watch the pain happen.

And especially now with those professional experiences and now with personal ones, I feel more passionate about the need for this restraint and this allowing of them to “hate you.” These lessons are what they will remember in the long run. You are not just creating happy children NOW – you are inspiring creative problem-solvers for the FUTURE when you allow them to navigate the hardships on their own (with your guiding hand and your loving and safe self to fall back on of course).

Tomorrow’s quote….tensions are rising (hint hint).

Quotes I live by (Tuesday)

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Clean your own porch before you start on someone else’s (quote by a very wise GU volleyball camp director)

*This quote’s context was all about players not “coaching” and critiquing teammates’ on the court during play, but as I say often, volleyball is a metaphor for life and nothing could compare more strongly then THIS quote in THIS social/political climate RIGHT NOW.*

This one is pretty self-explanatory but again, I come back to it often when I have strong feelings that pop up either about something I see someone else do or say OR when I start perusing social media and hard, critical thoughts pop into my train of thought. How I combat these thoughts is by swiftly trying to “clean up my own porch” by thinking about my own past, my own actions and identifying what I could do to change/improve.

This self-awareness exercise has helped me in a number of situations (social media during the presidential campaign anyone???) and above all, lessens the strong feelings enough to move on. Not that I am a bold enough person to say many critical things of others that often anyway (unless you’re my volleyball players…..then…..well that’s the only way were gonna get better girls!!!!), but again, I don’t even like having the toxic thoughts and energy that judgement brings so I try to sweep them right out of up there as quickly as I can.

Hump day quote coming up tomorrow…..right from my grandmother’s sweet (and blunt) heart to yours.

Quotes I live by (Monday)

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Along this winding road of 34 (almost 35!) years, there have been a few quotes spoken or read that have stuck out to me as not only useful, but rocks of truth that I find myself coming back to time and time again. I thought I would share those thoughts/quotes this week to document them into the permanency of blogland and as usual, potentially pass along the inspiration to someone else that could use it.

Love is a verb – Stephen Covey
Love DOES – Bob GoffAlthough this quote is more of a cluster of little quotes with similar meanings – I love all that it implies. That love is a moving, breathing thing. It changes from season to season and looks different in each and every relationship it shows up in. It’s not just a warm, fuzzy feeling but that true love is in actions. I also remember reading from Bob Goff that as much as love DOES, it also DOESN’T. The importance of saying no and setting boundaries is just as important as what you say yes to. I come back to this so much, especially now with a busier “mama” schedule. We try to limit our activities, especially on weekends to recover and reset for our weeks that add stressors to my Wonders’ hearts/brains and to our relationships.

One other interpretation of this quote is that “love is work.” That work is hard, that work is tiring, and that work will kick your behind from one side of hell to another. And the real, actionable kind of love keeps putting the work in, even when you really really don’t want to (yes kind of true in relationship to marriage/romantic relationship struggles but this quote seems much more applicable to me in raising little humans into what are supposed to be successful, empathetic adults).

Stay tuned this week for more quotes….some of the true foundational pieces of how I live/choose my humble little life.

 

Oily kids for the win

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I love how much using essential oils with our wonders has empowered them to tackle both their physical and emotional struggles on their own without having to rely on medications.  The other cute part is how passionate they have become in sharing with others and helping me “teach.”

​​(WonderBOy sharing how he’s packing his keychain for school – heart eye emoji for days)
Want in on this action? I have a few rollerballs and spray goodies left over from a craft fair a few weeks back. If you know a new mama that could benefit from some of these, please message me and I’ll hand them over for a discounted price than what we sold them for previously. PS lots of people have raved to me about the tushy spray. Get one while they last!

Happy birthday WB!!!!

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9 years ago my little man came into this world….3 years ago he bounced/raced/collided into our life and changed it forever. (Photos gifted to us by bio Grandmother after disclosing how much of a trigger birthdays are for WB. This baby books gets looked at nightly heading into a birthday….so grateful she gave it to us.)

On continuing education….

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…for this trauma mama journey I’m on. This podcast is an awesome weekly reminder to keep practicing small steps in a completely overwhelmingly large journey towards trust and healing through relationship with our kiddos. 

Based off of the Trust Based Relational Intervention approach by Dr. Karen Purvis (TBRI), I love how calm these speakers are and how easy some of their suggestions can be. Shorter episodes, huge content…..great for family members AND educators and anyone working with children. Even without trauma, these practices are just good solid parenting skills. Hope you’ll check it out!


Quote from the above episode that I love love love: “Healing is always disruptive and always has side effects you don’t want.” Let’s get our messy healing on shall we???