Hello blog world – I’m back! After hemming and hawing over what to do with this blog, I just couldn’t bring myself to cancel it. Many times this year, I have felt the tug to blog and return to this space. As many of you know, I am a verbal processor (aka open book, aka trauma dumper, aka be careful when you ask how I am) and love using the written word to make sense of the world around me. In the end (literally this month), my gut told me to keep it, pay to renew it and here we are. Because if I have learned one thing the past two years, is that my intuition/gut is a powerful witchy force and I need to listen to it.
So much has happened in the past two years and I know I have left you with sparse pieces of that puzzle but I am okay with that. The biggest puzzle that has been built meticulously is the act of healing and acceptance. I feel like I’m finally around the corner of that healing (I know I’ve sad that at previous chapters but now feel like it’s here to stay) and I’m also ready to keep sharing that journey with the world – in case someone else is going through it and selfishly, just to keep myself accountable and writing as a creative outlet.
Cats are a constant reminder of the importance of ease and rest.
Although I haven’t been publicly blogging, I have kept up my journaling practice and referenced back to January when I choose my One Little Word for the year. After an extremely hard 2024 where my heart, mind, and body were constantly exerting effort just to keep going, it was time to counterbalance that effort with EASE. I wanted to pursue ease, make sure I was intentionally scheduling rest, and keeping a promise to myself to listen to my body and give it what was easy to give at the time (this was often slowing down, rest, and stillness).
“Ease is not the absence of challenge, but the presence of grace in the face of it.”
One of the aspects of healing I worked on this year was re-aligning with my intuition. After the betrayal trauma, I had some big realizations about ways I ignored my intuition in the past and some inherent anger I actually had toward it for “letting me down.” Part of pursuing EASE was to dive deep into that internal dialogue and sensation to determine what actually does feel easy, right, and energy-giving versus energy-draining.
In business, that meant I worked on automaticity and systems so that parts of it could run in the background as I prioritized rest and other pursuits.
In relationships, that meant that with the limited resources I have in this stage of life (time, money, energy), I only wanted to spend on people that felt “easy” to me. And honestly in retrospect, I chose the people that were honest, steadfast, and genuine – all things I desperately needed post betrayal trauma.
A delightful night out in Seattle with one of my bests.
In January of this year, I made a list of activities that made me feel EASE and they still hold true 12 months later: – walking outside – sunshine – morning routine – cuddling with WB – intentional eating and meal prep – shifts at the Landing – being “cat-trapped” by Hallford – heat (hot tub, hot water shower, sauna) – decorating my new space – taking the train vs. driving
So TL;DR, I found some ease this past year and lived to blog about it. More blogging (and a new word) coming in 2026….cheers!
I have been in a functional freeze state about oh-so-many things in my life as of late….this blog being one of them. Blogging and writing has been such a coping strategy for me for so long and I’ve had a block keeping me from doing so…..BUT I want to reclaim things that bring me joy and help me sort through the absolute chaos in my heart and mind as of late. To round up the last 6 or so months since I published this post, I thought I would do a few frequently asked questions that come up often from folks (not that I mind you asking – but it’s hard to answer some hard ones over and over ya know?).
Are you still coaching? Nope. The pain from the loss of my job at Ferndale is still deep and fresh and I’m not ready for the high school coaching scene again (maybe not ever around here). I love coaching and developing younger players and am definitely open to private trainings and younger club coaching opportunities. I do plan on going into more detail at some point about this on the blog but can’t until some other processes play out so stay tuned.
Why did you leave Ferndale (Schools)? I love love loved my role as school counselor and counseling leader in Ferndale (especially our counseling team – the absolute BEST in all the land). The tides changed dramatically with new leadership (which is completely normal and I accept that) and I no longer could align my professional values and needs with the agendas playing out there, especially in regards to hiring/firing practices. As a school counselor, there are a LOT of game-time decisions made about very important children and families in our buildings and in 16 years in the profession, I was NEVER anxious about whether or not administration would support me and those decisions until recently. I couldn’t let that affect my mental health but more importantly, I knew I wouldn’t be able to provide the best services I could for students and families with that pressure and anxiety hanging over my program. I do want to say with 100% certainty, there are AMAZING staff members throughout Ferndale School District – I miss so many of them, especially watching their brilliance and care for little ones play out each and every day in buildings throughout this community I care very much about.
What are you doing these days for work? I am in my self-employed, entrepreneur ERA! As some of you know, I have dreamed of owning a business focused on supporting children and families with trauma for multiple years. It was close to fruition in 2020 before Covid and some other life events happened that created necessity to stay in my role at Ferndale.
Rooted WELL is the name of my wee little company – I help educators and families create safe spaces for children with needs that are not well supported in the existing public school system. This can include professional development and trainings, but I also have individual clients I get to see on a regular basis to support the work as well. This Spring, I was afforded the amazing opportunity to be an adjunct professor for the school counseling graduate program at WWU which re-ignited my passion for supporting new school counselors with resources, training, and burn-out prevention support.
Coming soon – presenting at a national virtual conference, a new website, online course for new school counselors, and whatever else my busy busy brain dreams up! Yes, I also still make money from tik tok and even help a few other clients do the same so that’s a fun little side gig along the way.
Are you and Scott staying together? No. We are talking and co-parenting and are making it work for the sake of our kiddos, but our romantic relationship has come to an end. It is my hope (and I know his too) that we can forge a new relationship moving forward with foundations of respect, trust and genuine care for each other but some individual healing, forgiveness and growth needs to happen first.
We still hang out, go to events together, and can be around each other – so if you see us out, it’s not weird but it’s also not a date (so come talk to us but don’t be awkward). I think that covers all the bases of what folks might want/need to know. There is a lot of information out in public about us but also a lot behind the scenes very much impacting my decisions so thank you to those of you reaching out and supporting us BOTH through this tough time.
How are the kids? The Wonders have unique backgrounds that make a family rupture like the one we are experiencing difficult. We are supporting both of them and overall, they are handling it with respect, open communication and an an amazing amount of grace. It has highlighted those things that I love about both of them (and hopefully those are seeds we have been planting and tending to in the 10 years we’ve been honored to parent them).
Do you plan on moving? I think so? The small town of Ferndale is one of the loves of my life and a piece of my identity I value dearly. However, because of the coaching/professional stuff that went down and the betrayal trauma occurring nearby as well, it’s been a bit of an emotional minefield to live and interact with folks here. WonderBOY wants to finish his HS career here so one of us will have to stay but I would say it is very likely I will not be a Ferndale-for-life kinda gal like I originally envisioned for myself.
How are you handling all of this? I have THE BEST network of people around me to help me handle things. So some days are good and I am smiling and other days, I’m frozen in bed watching seasons upon seasons of my emotional support shows (what are they you ask? Gilmore Girls, Grey’s Anatomy, Sex and the City, Hart of Dixie and The Challenge). Throughout the past 9 months there have been times that my mind is strong and stable, yet my body has not been. And at other times, it’s the exact opposite which has been difficult for a number of reasons with multiple triggers of some past hurts and struggles.
What can I do to help? Feel free to refer to this blog post I wrote about this very topic. This summer, I am very much grieving some “typical” summer trips I have done in the past…i would love walks and invites to enjoy the summer sun in the PNW with you. AND some days, I have to say no and take care of myself alone in my depression nest and I so appreciate all my peeps understanding that!
Thank you for reading all of this. I am a pretty open book so catch me in person or give me a call if you’d like to connect!!! And a cute little photo reward for all this reading –>
A core group of my support network the past 9 months. I would NOT have gotten through some very dark days and nights without these fine folks (and a handful of others not pictured here).
