Monthly Archives: December 2015

Christmas highlight reel – 2015 edition

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During our advent season, our little family read many scriptures and reflected together. One particular verse stood out to me in a big way (a rare occurrence when I read the bible mind you) and charged me with being fully present during our Christmas season. Luke 2:19 reads “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” While those wild shepherds were out shouting and gossiping about the magical birth of Jesus, Mary kept this news close and quiet and was fully present with her newborn son. After reading this story, I felt charged to do the same – to engage and be content with our moments in my heart versus being concerned with filters and clever hashtags (no offense to all of you holiday posters – I loved them all!!!). I felt truly at peace this past week and didn’t once feel the squeeze or pressure sometimes I feel during the holidays to have everything perfect (as compared to everyone else’s I see on FB/insta)…each night I took time to reflect and embrace and love on the day in my heart no matter how it turned out.

Here a few moments that made our week wonderful and peaceful:

notesA tradition that Scott and I started years ago was opening letters to each other on Christmas morning. This year, I not only loved my letters but reading others loving words to each other as well. WG’s letter in particular came after a very hard Christmas Eve wth Scott at work and high anxiety around him not returning home on Christmas morning. It makes me cry how much Scott’s loving actions impact her and re-wire her beliefs about love and fathering.

Having only one celebration per day gave us quiet mornings to enjoy our new treasures and start our days off slow and steady. This type of morning requires a cozy robe and juice out of a fancy glass of course.

They say your cousins are your first friends. For me, as one of the oldest, they were my first practice runs at being a bossy mcbosserpants mama. Now they are all grown up and I still love spending time with them! Our big Weber get together was wonderful and filled with fun as usual and now we get to start new traditions and new relationships to carry on that fun together.

One perk to never leaving my hometown is that all my friends come back to me during the holidays! This year, I got to meet my beloved Kara Lynn’s little man and sheesh look at that hunk of adorableness!!! Although we are states apart, our lives are entangled in so many ways as well as our hearts and I love that.

My brothers are pretty big dorks and when together they are inappropriate and immature dorks, but I love them anyway. Getting them all together in a room is a dangerous recipe for bad jokes and an annoyed mother but it also makes my heart so happy. I love how much my littles love them and feel connected to our extended family.

Coming later this week – our favorite gifts we gave and received, top moments of 2015 and what’s next for TBD in 2016!

P.S. One of my favorite pieces of this blog is that it is a tool to help me remember and document these small moments so I can treasure them again and again when my memory fades and when our family changes in the future. Thank you to all those who mentioned to me that you read my words and musings on life – I appreciate your kind encouragements about keeping it going not only as a tool for myself, but a possible resource or connection for others whose lives may parallel pieces of ours. Happy holidays to all of you!!

WonderGIRL cutes and quotes

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Oh this sweet little bundle of joy, giggles, and black and white thinking. We share absolutely no genes but are INCREDIBLY similar in our stubbornness and need to be in control. Plus, we both love scarves so that makes up for all of the negative parts (right Scott?)
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I love a good mama-daughter matching opportunity.

“Mama you got Mary Ellen a present for Christmas? She will feel so loved!!!!”


WonderGIRL is truly amazing with younger children. I call her the “child whisperer” because not only are children in love with playing with her and following her around, they continue to remember her and talk about her far beyond their interaction (no matter how short). I love that she exudes joy and nurturing to these little ones and I hope she gets to use this strength in the future leading to a career with children.


I can’t remember any cute quotes from the Father-Daughter dance they attended this summer, but this picture and the amazing love that she must have felt in her heart to have a special date night with Scott makes me over-the-moon happy for her. This picture is also just too dang adorable to stay on my phone.

An excerpt from a recent letter WG wrote to Scott and I after a particularly hard weekend together:
“I know now that I have you for a reason and I do want to get adopted. I know I do things that could get me taken away but I never want to leave I love it here. I get fed and protected and loved. You’re my heroes you know. You’re my sunshine who rises me up every morning. You’re my love who glues me and the support I need. You have every right to send me away but you don’t – that shows that you love me. This consequence taught me a lesson of how to be who I really can be not who I feel is the easy me. You have the best for me at heart. I need to trust you.”
(this beautiful writing came from girl who has a significant deficit in writing with a serious IEP – I can’t believe she pulled out this amazing detail and imagery AND that she saw the connection between our parenting and trust. It also breaks my heart that her “go-to” answer is being taken away….a true picture of what foster children have at the forefront of their broken hearts and brains even in the safest of homes and foster families)

WonderBOY cutes and quotes

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Part of the magic of parenting is soaking in those small, daily moments and quotes that fill our lives with love and giggles when adventuring alongside our little ones. In efforts to not forget these moments, I shall record them here for others to enjoy also (plus a few cute pics that are hiding on my phone).WonderBOY worked hard to earn his 5 stripes in Tae Kwon Do and earn this “real life trophy” that he was smooching and hugging dearly after the ceremony. His pure joy when receiving it involved that cute teethy smile and a jump into the air!
 I am guilty of this as well, but WB HATES to admit that he is tired. Even half asleep, we will swear that he is wide awake. During our daily afternoon ritual of watching Ellen together, I noticed he was rather quiet and looked closer to see this cute smiling babe all propped up on his hands. This pic got quickly sent to Scott at work.As soon as WB gets into the dentist chair, he quickly takes off his shoes to get more comfortable. When I asked him about this last visit, he said “they make me a little bit more nervous.”
 “Mama can we listen to God music?” (this little buddy loves him some worship – we snuck this photo without him seeing one long drive into the county)

Other cuteness quotes:
“Mama, is it true?”
“Is what true?”
“Does every kiss begin with Kay?”

(one night during bedtime – puts his hand sweetly on my cheek and his face right next to mine”
“Mama I’m gonna look at your face right before I fall asleep so I can have better dreams.” (insert melting heart here)

on my “kinda capsule” wardrobe….

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Some of you may be familiar with the recent trend of capsule wardrobes. The basic jist is picking out essential clothing items, shoes and accessories and only rotating through those pieces for an entire season. While I love this statement of more with less, I am far too lazy and indecisive to actually label items and put others away never to be seen again (or until the weather changes).

Shopping and determining my own style has grown on me in my adult years, partially due to having professional income that makes those interests way easier to keep up. I tend to stick to trendy clothes from cheaper stores or online shops versus buying expensive items that I will wear often. Due to these tendencies, I really love pieces of clothes but just for short spurts of time usually. After they have “served their purpose” to me for however long (sometimes even 1-2 wears), I don’t feel bad sending them on their way to consignment for someone else to purchase and love.

With this temporary and purpose-filled strategy, I am proud of my limited wardrobe and clean closet. It makes choosing outfits easier in the morning when I know I am going to love and look good in whatever I pull out of my closet for the day.

 Bonus closet organization tips I have picked up along the way:

1. Off season items in bins in top shelf (bathing suits and cover ups in one, scarfs and mittens in another).

2. I adore this shoe organizer from Bed, Bath and Beyond for my shoe and boot collection. Hanging it up makes it so much easier than them lined up on my closet floor.

3.  Shirts and blouses on top and workout tops and sweatshirts on the bottom rack make dressing for work vs. casual days much easier in the morning (decisions are always harder pre-coffee no?).

4. Special occasion shoes/pumps are stored in plastic bins on top shelf. Easy to see yet out of the way during daily decisions (I got that idea from my best and shoe lover Mary – thanks Mare!).

Oh Christmas cards oh Christmas cards….

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I love receiving Christmas cards and putting them up on our wall for the Christmas season (and if I’m being honest, they usually stay there until April/May due to pure laziness how much I love them). I started putting them into small mini-albums after the season is over to display during the following Christmas season on our coffee table. Now that we’re into year 4 of receiving cards as a couple/family, it’s been so fun to see our friends and family grow and grow in their size and in their adventures. It definitely puts the passage of time into huge perspective and positive nostalgia and memories are some of the best parts of the holiday season.
Here is a peek at all of my mini-albums from years past. I keep it pretty simple with just a cover and back cut from one 12×12 piece of scrapbook paper. In the early years, I got fancy and added some journaling about our traditions and favorite presents from that Christmas season. Then….we got kids. Ain’t no one got time for fancy.What do you do with your Christmas cards? Leave a comment below….since I work so hard in taking those pictures and choosing the right font and personalizing that return address sticker, they better not be in the recycling bin right??? (insert wink….why don’t blogs have emojis yet….insert frustrated face).

On family photos….

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I have to admit…..I have some commitment issues when it comes to family photos in our home. It has been oh…..about 3 years since our wedding and you will not see one wedding photo of the hubs and I anywhere in our house. It’s a bit odd because if you know me, you know I LOVE photos and scrapbooking but something about the finality of choosing a picture and a frame and where to place it in our house overwhelms me. When adoring one of my favorite blogs, I saw some beautiful frames on her wall and went to Framebridge’s website to gawk further (post Thanksgiving self-shopping vulnerability here). 
This website (and company) has made it so easy to pick your favorite photos (mine of course were from my insta account), pick from a number of gorgeous frames, and soon they were traveling over the river and through the woods to our home! 
I used an oldie but goodie Pinterest idea to hang the frames and it worked great!! I lined up the 4 frames on this piece of wrapping paper and marked where the nails should go by putting marker on the backs of the frames. Then, after taping it to the wall, I nailed directly into the paper and tore the paper down from the nails after. The frames were lined up, spaced evenly, and only 4 nail holes in the wall (skeptic Scott approved). I highly recommend this method if embarking on your own gallery wall adventure.
Above is just an up close and personal look at the 4 photos I chose. My favorite photos of my wonders and of course how this little party got started, a picture of me and Scott on our wedding day (finally!).

Framebridge is offering 15% off their frames and products to any friends/family/readers by using the code Patti15 when placing your order. Amazing products, fast shipping, and more family memories up on the wall equal an adulting step forward in my book. Happy framing!

TBD and our Christmas story….

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image4Last year’s Christmas was our first one with WonderGIRL and WonderBOY and we definitely learned a lot. While Scott and I absolutely loved the magic that comes with celebrating this special time with little ones (melt my heart the picture above reading on Christmas Eve), we hit some hard road bumps that now we get to tweak for Christmas part 2.0 with Team Brave Dinosaurs. When inviting kids with trauma into your home, you are also inviting their own family traditions, gift-giving mindsets, and some emotional baggage from hard family get-togethers in as well. WG in particular has some anniversary trauma around Christmas time that really spikes her anxiety and mood swings – this was highlighted by her having to testify about this holiday season this past Spring. We try to be very mindful with our time, our own traditions, and how we set up holiday get-togethers to best set them up for success and to help all of us stay focused on “the reason for the season” during these busy weeks.
IMG_3404THE GIFTS
Gift-giving has been used very manipulatively with our little ones in the past. Wrapped gifts were given after traumatic events to rebuild false trust and apologies that never resulted in changed behavior. WG and WB were inundated with gifts and “stuff” without the love and trust that is supposed to accompany those same gifts. We also knew that anticipation of gifts and surprises are hard for them – the same rush of excitement we get when we feel suspense, their little bodies and brains read as danger and fear and can cause some pretty serious outbursts and behavior. We decided to tell them ahead of time that they were getting 4 gifts from us (what to read, need, wear, want) and a small gift on Christmas Eve. This alleviated the anticipation with realistic expectations of Christmas morning. We also put out most of their presents ahead of time to avoid sneaking around, snooping, etc. They also completely believe that we have traps set up (we love some good Spy Kids action) around the house and tree to catch them snooping.

Scott and I have always loved buying gifts for families in need during this holiday season. We would take the money normally spent on each other and use that towards “sponsoring” a family. On Christmas morning, we open sweet and creative love notes to each other that I treasure re-reading each year. We hoped that the kiddos would buy into this tradition and so they got to write us letters last year and they were SO flippin’ adorable. This also took away any pressure or burden for them to gift us anything as we explained we had everything we needed in each other (you get to be that cheesy with kiddos in your house during holiday season right????).

While we had our little family of 4 COVERED as far as gifts, we also had to carefully navigate how to ask our families to respect the childrens’ unique needs and that big toy-related gifts were not what WE wanted for their holiday season. Our parents and siblings were very respectful (for the most part) of our request – WG and WB were showered with cool magazine and kit subscriptions, gymnastics lessons, and other cool experiences they got to do with the people they have come to love the most in our world. What I especially loved about these “experience” gifts was that the holiday joy and love was spread out throughout the year and when we would complete them, WG and WB would get to appreciate the person and the gift so much more! This blog post does a wonderful job explaining how to request a more simple Christmas and has an awesome list of non-toy related gifts you can pass on to loved ones.

OUR TIME
Everything gets squeezed into the schedule during December doesn’t it? Christmas programs, church events, birthday parties and belt testing for Tae Kwon Do…..my planners really earn their stripes during this busy time of year. And while personally, I absolutely LOVE the social parts and the reunions – my family (hubby included) really don’t deal well with such a busy schedule. I try to spread our events out as evenly as I can and I say NO to many things (I believe the appropriate hashtag here would be #sorrynotsorry).

What I have also found useful in event planning is to not tell the kiddos far in advance what we’re doing. Again, the anticipation of a fun event for them can often be twisted around in their brains/hearts and can dramatically spike their behavior in the wrong direction. Instead we try to have very low-key mornings the day of and then with an hour to go until an event, we start getting ready and dressed and off we go! Oftentimes, other adults will ask WG or WB, “Are you getting excited for __________ (insert fun event here)?” and they will have such a cute, but blank expressions because we haven’t really told them anything yet. And for us, that’s what works. Until it might not this year…..then the countdown to an even better TBD Christmas 3.0 is on!!!!

Merry Christmas friends – thank you for reading and supporting our little clan!!!

Countdown to Christmas

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There are all sorts of drool-worthy advent/countdown calendars popping up on my Facebook and Pinterest feeds yesterday and today (touche crafty friends, touche). Although ours is humble in physical appearance, it is mighty in emotional and spritual impact. Plus, it’s super easy to whip out in about an hour or so!

We make 24 paper strips to make one long paper chain. Last year, we used up some of my 12×12 paper stash left over from my Treasury of Memories days. This year? Upcycling those beautiful Trader Joe shopping bags….kraft + Christmas decor? Can’t go wrong…..image1

On each individual link/strip, we work as a family to write down two things. We write down a bible verse each day to read together as a family (all part of the Christmas story but told from different books in the bible – see tradition #4 of this blog post). Each day, we also write down a challenge or an activity that we want to participate in to keep focused on loving others and being more mindful during this holiday season. Today, for example, the mission was for WG and WB to play/talk with a new friend at school. They absolutely love taking off the chain link each morning and then processing the outcome on the way home from school or at talk time at night.

Other examples of activities/challenges might include:
Pray as a family
Watch Rudolph and talk about a time we were bullied
Random Acts of Kindness Day (a tradition me and hubby started pre-kids)
Christmas light tour with hot cocoa!
Buy presents for “adopt-a-family” and deliver
Any favorite family tradition (gingerbread house, sledding, etc.)
Make Christmas cookies together

It may already be December 2nd but it’s never too late to create your own mission Christmas countdown! If you have any other fun countdown ideas, please leave me a comment. I would love to hear them…..